Sweetie, By Their Standard… Beauty Fades

BeautySociety’s vain imposition of beauty “is a combination of qualities, such as shape, color & form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially sight.” This definition has been created by someone else’s standard & beauty defined by someone else can be taken by the very person who has “given” it to you. This beauty is unreliable. Beauty, though sought after endlessly, is quantified by the appeasement of others. That is why I urge you to quantify your worth by something more valuable than “beauty“. Beauty created by the standard of society eventually fades as it is recycled & transitions like fashion trends. As women going places, a pretty face, an amazing body, and “good” hair is not going to do much for long. Eventually at some point, crows feet may grow near our eyes, our jeans may start to be difficult to put on, our once vibrant hair may start to turn grey & based on what society perpetuates as beauty, we then have a diminished selfesteem. We then become focused & obsessed on the remnants of what youth once provided to us – beauty. That is why I promote intellectual stability & defining beauty by your own standards.

How you do this is entirely up to you but I urge you to nurture what is inside of you that makes you more than what society says you are. Want to go back to school & get a degree or two? Go for it. Want to open your own business? Do it. Want to divulge in the arts? Be artistic. Want to be something more than breast and thighs? Challenge yourself. Teach yourself a new task. Want to show the world you are something other than what magazines, music videos, books, tv shows & other media avenues say you should be? You are more than capable. It starts with you. When beauty is defined by you it is no longer given to you on a conditional basis & can not be taken from you when someone is upset with you. When provided by you, to you, it is no longer superficial, fabricated for benefit or false. Knowledge & the beauty that comes from it is yours for the keeping.
As a woman going places, you can not allow society to have you looking in the mirror unsure of who you are, what you are worth or if the reflection looking back at you makes you good enough. Allow your knowledge to challenge societies shortcomings. Develop yourself into someone whose worth is not solely reliable on a pretty face. Nurture the seed in your mind so it may grow into something that can add value into your life & others. Alone, this form of self investment, will have you ahead of society’s trends. This is what will allow you to not be defined by your physical appearance but will make you an anomaly in a frivolous world. Unfortunately, as society promotes & becomes more attractive to the superficial, the more unwilling people are to educate themselves in a way to ensure their survival. So all that is left, is what the eyes see, & what we see can often be deceiving. Defining beauty by visual aesthetics is how society ends up having the concept all wrong.
Beauty is the ability to still remain compassionate despite what obstacles you have to endure in life. Beauty is the ability to make someone else smile even though your day is not going so great. Beauty is the ability to look past the “ugly” & make it beautiful. Beauty is the ability to stand tall when you feel that your knees can buckle from stress. Beauty is the ability to love your flaws & lick your wounds so you can continue to become a better version of yourself. Beauty is the desire to want more for yourself. Beauty is your willingness to wake up everyday & go to a job you hate because you have a family to provide for. Beauty is the ability to not respond to names such as “b*tch”, “hoe” or “ma” but is the requirement to be called by your name & nothing less than “queen“. Beauty is the uncontrollable, child like laughter you feel in your gut when you let loose a little. Beauty is watching a movie & being so moved that it causes you to feel for the characters, to be the characters. Beauty is knowing your worth. Beauty is not settling for less. Beauty is the ability to look forward to tomorrow even though today was a horrible day. Beauty is a reminder that all though society has made beauty’s focus on superficial things, you are able to work on being beautiful inside so that your daily interactions inherit the same beauty. Beauty is the choice to do something nice without praise from someone else. Beauty is your ability to remain faithful. Beauty is kissing your kids good night or holding back tears so your children do not see you are upset. Beauty are those late nights, early mornings you have more often than you prefer. Beauty is the multitasker. Beauty is the woman who rolls out of bed with a head scarf, messy bun or drool on the side of her face. Beauty is you with or without the make up. Beauty is the ability to make decisions & own your choices. Beauty is the right mind to seek treatment when your mental health is at stake. Beauty is the ability to keep teaching yourself when you do not know something. Beauty is not taking defeat but is the defeated woman, as she will find the strength to get back up to fight again. Beauty is the choice to survive. Beauty is getting back up for another round even though the last one almost took you out. Beauty are the scars you hide from the world but examine every day. Beauty is the fearful woman who feels she has to hide behind a mask to feel accepted or loved. Beauty is the vulnerable woman who took a leap on faith. Beauty is the little girl you once were who grew up to the woman you are today. Beauty is woman. Beauty is you.
Beauty. is. you.
What is beauty to you? How do you exercise different forms of beauty in your daily life? Has this memoir given you a new perspective on beauty or did it add to it?

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