Welcome back Conglomerates. Today’s memoir is about learning to accept seasonal people, accepting the season in which they appear & accepting OUR season, as it is. So often as women we build relationships with people expecting a solid foundation that would prove to be a lifeline for a lifetime. Often, despite the clear cut signs that certain individuals are not meant to be eternal lifelines we insist & prolong relationships without accepting that sometimes a short period of time is all that is needed for some people to serve their purpose in our lives.
Like the four seasons, all relationships whether platonic, romantic or friendly are not always meant to last forever. Some people are really only supposed to be around for your winter season but are to wean off in time for your new spring season but even when we know this, we have & continue to keep people around for longer than they should be. While we have them, I say we value them, treat them well, accept the season, accept them for what they are & act accordingly when time is up. Their sole purpose, despite how long, is to be present during the best and/or worst times of our life’s journey.
Seasonal people serve their purpose during the most monumental moments of our lives– the good, the bad & the ugly. They can be included in our bridal party, our best friend during a divorce, celebrating promotions, praying for us during loss, encouraging us while in school, financial support during unemployment & planning baby showers during pregnancy. They teach us lessons, serve as distractions, or are a good time during bad times. Regardless of the reason, all seasonal people do have a purpose but sometimes just as quickly as they come is just as quickly as they go. Despite how our season has ended, bad, good or indifferent it should not be mulled over with bitterness as the need provided by them has been fulfilled & it was time to move on. Once it is over we can recognize that we are not the same person now that we were before we met them. In our encounter we ended up learning new facets about ourselves that have contributed to a stronger & more self-aware person than we were before them & the evolution of these qualities is a result of our encounters with them.
Though I️ did not know it at the time, I have had short-term SEASONAL relationships & have prolonged them knowing I shouldn’t have. In retrospect, I️ can identify its purpose and my growth, even if it was only for a short period of time. Last year, I️ dated a guy for about 5 months. Things went well at first, it was fun, it was engaging, it was different. He came at a point in my life when something needed to change. I️ was holding on to things & people that should have been let go long before he came into the picture. So his presence, helped me let those unhealthy people, habits & situations go. At some point though, the relationship became strained & prolonged by him not accepting OUR season together was over & me having to accept that some good people just are not for me (we will revisit that topic at another time). Though it ended, I️ am able to reflect on what his purpose was in my life, even if he did not know it. He was able to assist me in getting out of my depression, helped me refocus my energies on things other than the things that made me sad & he taught me how to have a good time. For those few months he played a significant role in my life but when it was time to let it go, I now know I should have done just that– let it go. Though it lasted 5 months it really should have ended at three. Since it did not end at 3 months & we insisted on prolonging what already was over we saw the ugly in each other that could have been avoided if we just accepted each other for what we were to each other; seasonal people. I had to embrace the fact that although our season was fun, it was over. So, regardless of the dynamics of our relationship with someone it is important to acknowledge the purpose of those who have crossed our paths & made a difference even if it was only for a short time.
Accepting this DOES NOT make us a bad person, it in fact makes us realists. It allows us to accept relationships & people just for what they are. It teaches us to accept a person’s purpose while accepting the purpose we may serve in someone else’s life. This will in turn allow us to accept OUR season. Thrive off of what comes of these relationships, we will not be the same after the encounter, regardless of how hurtful or damaging they were because once the “damage” is done & moved past we emerge with a perspective of ourselves & our situations that contribute significantly to us living our best lives. Make the best out of it, whether the experience is one we reflect on with affection or disappointment. As we continue to adventure through our seasons this enables us to love into & appreciate the lifelong, truly fulfilling relationships we have created.
Until later tea party – remember to live your best life– seasonal people & all.
Conglomerates, in what way have seasonal people help you evolve into the person you are today? Is there anything you can contribute to this concept of season people?