“Level Up” From Your Pain

There is no surprise that different things we experience will either motivate us to keep going or effect us enough to do the opposite. Regardless of the outcome, all our experiences, whether good or bad, contribute significantly to the people we are today. Knowing this, I have always used this to my advantage. During my most hurtful & trying times; I have always used those moments as an opportunity to Level Up. If I were honest, in the depths of my deepest heartbreaks; I have evolved in ways I know I would not have been able to if I did not allow my circumstances to create beauty from my ashes.

I understand, that in life we become susceptible to less than ideal situations that leave us vulnerable & broken to our core. But it is what we do in these situations that will be a true testament to our ability to survive. When I was 18 years old, starting my freshman year of college, I had experienced my first true heartbreak. Originally, I did all the things a 18 year old would do at this point. I was alive but I was not living. I would wallow, cry, sleep constantly (not that that changed much, but the reason is different) & I fell into a depression that had such a strong hold on me that I neglected the things of importance to me & my ability to function. After months of being in my “shell” state, I came to my senses. Although I was crushed, I knew what I had to do because if no one ever loved me again; I would invest in myself enough that they would not have to. Through my pain, I have accomplished things I probably wouldn’t have, had I not decided to devote time to staying busy. My educational success coupled with my ability to make & save money initially stemmed from a broken heart. I had taught myself that the party must continue even if internally, my heart can not celebrate.

Recently, one of my best friends had a set back in her relationship that had her effected in ways I had never seen. Though I acknowledged that she was grieving; I used my own method of madness on her. I sat with her, listening to her speak of the investments & sacrifices she had made for the sake of her relationship; then I asked her (knowing the answer) if there was anything she always wished she could do that her relationship hindered in some way? The very same week she enrolled into school. Though they are working things out, she is now investing in herself & thriving doing so.

For the sake of being length conscious with this memoir, I will not provide more examples but please believe me when I tell you there are many. Out of your ashes, there is always beauty.  Under ugly circumstances, you have the ability to emerge in ways you could have never imagined. There are many things in life that are outside of your control. In some aspects, you can not control how people treat you, how other people’s actions effect you or how you receive something that has hurt you; but you can control what you do as a result. Invest in yourself. Find something you love to do, that you use to do, or wish you could do & DO IT! No one should have the ability to inhibit you from becoming better than your best yourself. Though it is painful now, life has an amazing way of promoting healing. It is just your job to embrace it, pursue it & make it work for you; in your favor. I always promote sharing your darkest moments to help others know they are not alone. In turn, I advocate using your darkest moments to cocoon yourself into a chrysalis so that a butterfly can emerge; because after all, nothing can happen until you realize you have wings.


**I do not own the rights to this song**

2 thoughts on ““Level Up” From Your Pain

  1. As always, beautifully written ! And couldn’t be more true. Without going into so much detail, I just wanted to share for anyone who may have similar struggles. My pain that I receive is largely from the one person that should be in my corner most. My mother. Bonnie you already know most of the experiences I’ve had but in short – there’s jealousy, there’s vindictiveness, and MAJOR shade. I cannot express how hard it is to know that being a mother myself, that I cannot look to my own for support – never monetary, but just to be there.. to be there when the walk of parenthood is dark and I’m unsure of what the right path to lead my child as well as when I am proud and feeling blessed with the moves I’m making, not only for my life but my son’s experiences as well. Day by day I am getting stronger and I’ve learned that I have no power over how she treats me, but only how I react to her ways. Lol trust and believe if I wasn’t battling her back, trying to hurt her with my own words, I’d be crying myself to sleep or taking out my hard feelings on those that I love. I’ve grown so much since and I am grateful bc had she not been my mother I wouldn’t know how great of a mother I am and can still be….on my own.

    • Wow. I’m speechless ! I have always knows this but appreciate your willingness to share. You’re an amazing mommy. Sadly, it takes not having a certain experience to bring out the best in us. Thank you for sharing

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