Choose YOU, First. Always.

If the pandemic put anything into perspective it is that life can be going at a 100 MPH but at any moment life can put you right on your arse. Many of us were forced to reflect & re-prioritize our goals and the things most important to us.

Prior to the need to isolate- we often put our families, our self-care & individual goals to the side for the sake of our employers, careers &/or ambitious long- terms goals that kept us from being present in the moment. We attached our self worth to our titles, our employers, our bank accounts or the various things people have said to invalidate us.

Being forced to slow down & sit still has given us the ability to pay attention to what really matters. It resonates with us now that there’s so much more to life than titles & the superficial things that kept us motivated & inspired before. We understand now that once our life is over the only thing left behind is how we have made people feel. What will be left is solely that memories people have built with us.

So today —

I boldly state the obvious —

Eff anything that limits you from being who you are supposed to be for you, for your family & your loved ones. That job will replace you, that ex will continue to hinder you & that toxic friendship will limit you. Though the time has been put in, it doesn’t mean you need to keep sowing the seed.

Plant elsewhere.

Stay where you are wanted. Stay where the vibe is alive. Stay where there is joy & comfort. Find peace & sit in it. Prioritize the things that matter to your soul first. All the other stuff will come. As we enter the time of gratitude, be grateful & give yourself grace. Anything not aligned with your soul is not for you, regardless of how good it feels. Keep focused.

Learn YOU.

Most of us have a basic expectation of what we desire in a relationship – support, understanding, encouragement, companionship, marriage, happiness, peace (the list continues). However, despite those expectations we fall short when receiving it because we know very little on how to apply & provide it to ourselves, how to recognize it when we have it &/or how to sit tight until we receive it.

Unfortunately, we settle.

& we settle often.

However, understand that it becomes increasingly more difficult to obtain what we desire romantically if we keep giving ourselves the short end of the stick. We need to stop settling for relationships not suitable for us, establish our hard nos; while learning, establishing & sticking to our boundaries. Learning how to love ourselves first & foremost before striving to love anyone else is the best gift we can possibly give ourselves.

Once we master this, we will be equipped to teach others the way best way to love us. But until we do, we can’t possibly
provide the vision of what loving us looks like because the foot work to get there is missing.

Taking the time to love ourselves first & to learn who we are in & out of a relationship; allows us to make full & whole decisions when deciding who is worthy of what we have to offer.

We are done with one sided, unfulfilling, uneventful, experience-less relationships.

Today we declare to stop being part of the reason we do not receive what we deserve. Today, we begin taking the time to love & care for ourselves first without conditions while setting the standards for who and what we deserve. When we learn to love US first & truly; we walk in our our authority & establish standards for those that may pursue us.

We stop settling. We stop turning a blind eye & most importantly we stop skipping the healing process. We need it. After every heartbreak, after every encounter, after every experience we owe it to ourselves to heal & learn ourselves again.

Any time we put into ourselves is time well invested. We are our best investment.