It’s so dope to see how differently we have opted to do things in comparison to how our parents have chosen to do things with us. For instance, we are having babies and speaking dreams into them, letting them know they can do the “impossible.” While we were told that dreams were fun we were also told that we needed to stay practical & get things done by any means; despite the cost. I think it’s beautiful that we are no longer sticking to the narrative told to us & rather allow our children be who they want to be on their terms. We spent enough time being told & unheard; we are actually taking the time to listen to who our children want to be. I think that’s freaking dope.
Don’t get me wrong, the generations before us did what they felt was appropriate at the time for our benefit; however, as with all things there is a learning process & we haven’t been taking it lightly. We have been respecting the course that things have taken & quite frankly adjustments have been made. I see parents teaching their children valuable lessons while allowing their children to experiment with the things that may or may not be of interest to them a few months from now. Parents now are totally content with the autonomy of choice while encouraging the understanding of consequence & sacrifice. It’s truly amazing to see.
With all that being said, I watch my friends (& friends of friends) be amazing parents & still not give themselves enough credit. Wanting to do more, do better & work harder. But understand me, as someone on the outside looking in, who has yet to have children of their own; teaching your children that they can start over, that they can make their own choices by trusting their gut & what they believe is best for them, is such a blessing that they’ll thank you for later.
As they get older, they’ll not only see that you trusted that they are capable, they will see the different things you had to worry about while raising them such as, the household, the social issues you advocated for to ensure the safety of their future, your mental health, their mental health & their joy; that all the things that you don’t get right they won’t hate you for. They’ll just do what you do, & change the narrative for their children because you taught them that. So, I say all this to say — y’all doing it. You’re doing it consciously & with total understanding that their individuality, their desires & dreams are what makes them special. Give yourself grace.