Millennial Way of Living

We grew up in a society that presumes that the millennial generation has no true understanding of life & what to expect. For years, generations before us have attempted to dictate what success, relationships & family life should look like for us. However, when we refused to conform to that image, we lacked drive. But the truth is, we saw how life works & we concluded that life does not necessarily deal fair cards & we did something about it.

Instead of allowing the system to dictate our value, we let our creativeness take precedence. Entrepreneurs is an understatement with the talents & standards we have begun to unlock & monetize from. However, those who do not get it, will never understand why we find it ok to do things our way. As women, we have decided that our family can constitute our friends without having to marry & have children; if we do not want to. We set standards in our romantic relationships that those before us may not have had the confidence to set. We decided that we can have our own businesses doing things that generations before us did for free. We have learned to make social media work for us & have ran down the walls of universities grabbing degrees & opportunities that were withheld from those before us.

We are making it known, what worked for our parents is not the only way to ensure life works for us. Despite what many people think, we have drive. It just may not look like anyone else’s. Instead of settling, we have decided we want it all & we are coming for it. That is not an unrealistic expectation. It is an understanding that life is not limited & we can get it all with strategic planning. Most importantly, we can have fun doing it. However, just as a path was paved for us, we have created a platform for those after us.

So if you’re millennial reading this, keep those creative juices flowing & set the standards for what you want life to look like. Ignore the noise. Do life your way.

After all, it SHOULD be done your way. It is your life to begin with.

Sow Seed.

In a society that promotes competitiveness it should not be a surprise that more people are becoming information hoarders. Many people have opted to withhold information out of fear of losing out on an opportunity. But as we all know, what is for us will not miss us. Therefore, there is no significant reason to withold information that can be significantly beneficial to someone else.

Despite what many people believe, the idea of being fruitful does not only relate to bearing children; it’s one’s willingness to sow & grow fruits (what we have to offer) into the the earth. Your fruits are what makes the world go ’round & establishes your legacy. There are too many people starting new endeavors alone while many people have access to the resources that can make their process significantly easier.

We should be more willing to share the information we have obtained than chastise someone for asking. Any milestone that helps another person reach their goal sooner is a victory for us. Life is too short to contribute to making someone’s life more cumbersome. Use your experiences to flip their circumstances around & you will be blessed for it. Life is about making the journey shorter & more enjoyable.

Contribute to it.

Be A Good Person

Today’s memoir is a gentle reminder to be a good person. A genuinely good person that brings light to the lives of others. So many of us are not realistic about the kind of people we are & the type of people we associate with. Being a good person is more than doing nice things for people, it also stands on intent. Never forget that.

Twenty-Twenty has been a rough year with pandemics, civil rights movements, deaths & shenanigans associated with re-election. It is in these times that we have had to show people who was say we are & rise to the occassion. We do not have to get it right all the time but it is on us to try. How you make people feel & what you do to get ahead, matters! The intent behind it, matters. The consequences of what you do (good or bad) causes a ripple effect for the energy that is put out into the world.

Ensure that your energy is good.

Social media has cultivated a passive aggressive society that thrives off of competition, jealousy & negativity. Once we get caught up in that we begin losing any good qualities that make us uniquely, amazingly & beautifully us. Anything this earth has to offer should never jeopardize that. It should never cause us to sacrifice our inate instincts to be good. This life will pass on, however so, the impression you leave behind is the narrative of your life. You decide.

Loving Your People

Today’s memoir is just a simple reminder to LOVE your people. We all in some way, shape or form fight our own silent battles. Sometimes, despite how much people try to understand; it’s hard to even scratch the surface. We all deal with our experiences differently & everyone may not always agree. However, our experiences are, just that, our experiences. How we deal with them (Good or Bad) we have to live with. But for certain, we remember the people who have & continue to be there.

So, just tread with a little care. Encourage, inspire & truly love into one another. All negative encounters are not toxic but we have created a new standard, that all unideal encounters, are. That’s false & no true way to cultivate relationships. People make mistakes & really just need a little love. If we can love people the way we would want to be loved; the reward is rich.

Love real. Love authentically & without conditions.

Teach Treatment

I have always said, that you have to teach people how to treat you. However, I often got remarks from people who look at this statement at the surface. They assume I am implying that one is to endure mistreatment for a certain period of time in the “teaching” process.

In fact, I mean the exact opposite.

So I will say it again. You MUST teach people how to treat you & you have to be consistent when you do so. This is equivalent to setting boundaries & it ensures self preservation. People will go as far as you allow them to. They will push limits & stretch boundaries as far as you can take it. Even without clear intention; it happens. People have to understand there are consequences to mistreatment & based on what that consequence is, people who care; will avoid it.

For instance, there is a difference between someone who has been cheated on once & a person who has been cheated on multiple times. The behavior after finding out sets a standard for what happens next. Although this is not full proof (a dog will be a dog- male or female), when a person feels the consequences of losing you they will think twice about doing it again; if given the opportunity. This holds true in all relationships whether romantic, friendly or professional- people learn & they are quick learners.

I see too many of us walking around NOT using this method & enduring treatment that could have been addressed, dealt with & eliminated long before. This is an imperative method to ensuring you take care of yourself & set the standard. Do not be scared of the consequences of this. It only goes up from here. Be bold, deliberate & consistent. Eventually, your reputation will proceed you & you will recognize when choices that are not available to others are available to you. Do not accept anything less than the type of treatment you would want for someone you love dearly & want the best for. Expect to be loved & treated at the same magnitude. Do not let people take YOU forgranted. Accept nothing less than royal treatment because that IS what you are- royalty.

Teach that.

Blessed Encounters

Hello Loves!

Today is just a reminder to be a blessing while here on earth because you never know with who or where you have left an impact. If anyone is to remember you for anything, let it be because you made them feel good.

I was informed last Sunday that a lady from my church passed away. I will be honest enough to say I did not even know her name & I don’t think she knew mine; but I remember how our few encounters made me feel. She helped me reach a spiritual milestone that served to be difficult for over a year; but she stepped right in & helped me. Afterwards, she never forgot me. She will hug & greet me every time she saw me & ensured to encourage me to keep going. I can reflect now & say with certainty that she will never know the impact our encounters (especially that one in particular) had on me.

You see, every morning I wake up with the intention to make a positive impact on someone’s life. Impressions are lasting so it matters if they’re good or bad. When you are no longer here, we only ever have what memories you have left behind. Those memories matter. Leave behind something beautiful. You don’t have to be perfect but at the very least be a good person that helped, loved, cared & poured into people (strangers too). Let someone look at you & recognize the God in you. Represent him well. Show love. Be love & spread love.

Love is the blessing.

Making History 2020

In a time like this, when it is your duty to take a stand, will you?

Today I did. I took a stand in what will be the history for my children & the continued strides of my ancestors. I walked with over 1000 people from one town to the next- amongst political figures, police officers, white people, black people, adolescents & children. We were all walking in protest for the same thing:

BLACK LIVES MATTER.

Quite frankly, I am speechless. I cannot even articulate the thoughts running through my mind & the raw emotions coursing through my body. Even if I tried, I cannot begin to express to you the extent of solidarity & pride moving throughout the protest today. I am full of gratitude for the people who do not look like me but walked with me, talked with me, shouted with me, & supported on the sidelines. The message was clear- real clear.

BLACK LIVES MATTER- TOO!!!

It is extremely important that we do not stop here. That we keep going & we continue to have our voices heard. Not just during this Black Lives Matter protest, that fights back against police brutality & systematic racism; but forevermore in the face of any & all adversity. By utilizing our First Amendment right to assemble; protests have ignited & inspired positive social changes, advancements in human rights & a vast spread of information to be delivered by the masses to the masses. We see this in the examples before now such as the Women’s March, Gandhi’s Salt March, Boston Tea Party, March on Washington, March of Our Lives, Million Man March, Berlin Wall Protests, Iraq War Protest, etc… & even if the desired result was not achieved, people of like-minds, came together & had their voices heard. That alone speaks volumes. Volumes that one individual person cannot do alone.

Make your voices heard. Make your ancestors proud, pave the way for the generations after you & fight for your lives by taking a stand against the injustices so many of us face every day. Do not be deterred. Push forward. Stand Tall & DO NOT GIVE IN.

Sitting idly is NOT option.

Remember their names:

George Floyd, Christian Taylor, Dante Parker, Sandra Bland, Akai Gurley, Oscar Grant, Mya Hall, Michael Brown, Tamir Rice, Salvado Ellswood, Rumain Brisbon, Eric Gardner, Kimani Gray, Jonathan Sanders, Joseph Mann, George Mann, Eric Harris, Jamar Clark, Natasha McKenna, Michell Cusseaux, Laquan McDonald, Jerome Reid, Anthony Hill, Breona Taylor, Matthew Ajibad, Christopher Davis, Trayvon Martin, Rumain Brisbon, Akai Gurley, Brendon Glenn, Anthony Hill, Samuel Dubose, Philando Castile, Sean Bell, Alton Sterlin, Freddy Gray, Walter Scott, Troy Robinson, Sean Monterrosa, Botham Jean, Oscar Grant, Philip White, Amber Monroe, Ahmaua Arbery, Terrence Crutcher, Aiyana Jones, Ezell Ford, Dominic Hutchinson, Rumain Brisbon, Bill Ray Davis, Ahmaud Arbery, Jamar Clark, Kevin Hicks, La’vante Biggs, Tyree Crawford, Anthony Ashford, Alonzo Smith, Michael Lee Marshall, Michael Noel, Bettie Jones, Frank Smart, Michael Sabbie, Peter Gaines, Patterson Brown, Randy Nelson, Nathaniel Harris Pickett, Felix Kumi, Tony Robinson, India Kager, Miguel Espinal, Richard Perkins

& the countless others I have missed.

Because their lives matter too!

Why Black Lives Matter…

The last thing I wanted to do was write about the climate we are currently in. Not because I want to avoid the topic but because it hurts. I have a tendency to speak out of turn with rambunctious emotion before I have taken a full moment to process all that is happening & has happened. However, I will be a fool & will not be of service if I shy away from difficult topics like this one. #blacklivesmatter & I refuse to be apart of the problem that says otherwise. 

Let me preface this memoir by stating what should be obvious: If you THINK this topic does not affect you; you are sadly mistaken. Because it does. Whether you are brown, black, white, blue, yellow, green- of african decent, hispanic decent or asian decent – IT AFFECTS YOU! If you, yourself have not experienced the effects of the oppression imposed on black & brown men & women in the United States; I can guarantee that someone you love, someone you hold dear to you will not have the same testimony. If by some unlikely possibility, this still holds false– there is still a high probability that THIS will greet you at your doorstep. So do not be fooled. Don’t allow yourself to be oblivious to what is going on around you because THIS MATTERS!

BLACK LIVES MATTER.

Now when WE say #blacklivesmatter, we are not saying other lives don’t. What we are saying is- #blacklivesmatter TOO, ALSO, AS WELL, TAMBIEN. However, the events that have occurred & continue to occur remind us that expressing this is extremely important & in these circumstances- the rest…

DO NOT MATTER.

It is the black lives being targeted & slain. It is the black lives that have to question the trustworthiness of the very individuals in place to “serve & protect” them. It is the black lives who are yelling for their mothers during the last breathing moments of their lives. It is the black lives who have to continue to watch as guilty individuals continue to be acquitted for the murder of their loved ones; while jails are overpopulated with black lives that have done less.

Need I say more?

Racism is very much real & despite the strides of our ancestors; it is still very much a reality. It is this fact alone that has us rowdy, fighting back & unrelenting with various ways of expression. Do I necessarily agree with the looting? Nope. However, can I understand why? Most definitely. People are tired! Fed up! Scared & scarred by a system that continues to profile, victimize & disregard them as individuals time & time again. Efforts for peaceful & silent protests have occurred & have disheartened protestors & supporters when another guilty man is acquitted for a murder streaming all over the internet.

With that being said, you cannot be silent & be a supporter. You cannot be a supporter if you turn your cheek to all that is going on around you to avoid conflict or confrontation. You cannot stand up for what is right if you refuse to speak up about what is wrong. Silence in these very moments speak louder than your words ever could. Speak up! We are in a social pandemic & it is not going anywhere; especially if your silence is all you can offer to “support” in this time.

I am sorry that this even has to be a topic of conversation. I am sorry that my friends & loved ones have to be scared to watch their children grow up; unsure how they will protect them. I am sorry that a script has to be provided to our young men in case they ever get pulled over. I am sorry that people lose their lives in order for us to wake up to the injustices of what is going on around us. I am sorry for all the stories we did not hear about. You know, the ones that happen in broad daylight without the presence of a video camera recording the footage. I am sorry that the criminal justice system still functions with enough systematic racism that justice is hardly served for those needing justice. I am sorry that it is so hard to be optimistic in these times. I am sorry that we have to feel the need for war in order to have peace. I am sorry that despite all that is going on around us- people still do not get it.

I am sorry. So very, very sorry.

But please hear me when I say…

Black Lives DO MATTER!

Learn to do good. Seek Justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. Isaiah 1:17

Why do you look the other way? Why do you ignore our suffering & oppression? Psalm 44:24

 

Narrate Your Own Life

We give people too much mandate over our lives. We act as if what they say truly determines the outcome of our lives. We give people too much credit- we treat their opinions as if they are a true testament of our character; as if their positive or negative experiences put the final stamp on who we are destined to be. That can not be further than the truth.

In my spiritual pursuit I learned something extremely valuable; it has already been written. Our lives have been envisioned before we even came to be. However, we have the ability to make choices. No man can influence the overall outcome of our lives by the negativity they try to sprinkle over our magic. Knowing this; move accordingly. Walk in purpose, pursue your passion & claim your destiny. You have the final say over what your life turns out to be & the footprint you leave behind on this earth- no one else.

I have experienced this first hand from those I loved & those I have cared little about. But they all had the same affirmation- I would not amount to be the very person I am today. They decided that what they had to say about my life carried more weight than what I wanted for my life. They were wrong. Yes, I have made mistakes. Yes, I was not always the best representation of myself. But when I decided that I was going to lead a life I would be proud of- I did just that. Their opinions, their negative affirmations held no weight & as I continue to pursue this life of mine, their words still lack substance. What matters is that I know it has been written & what has been written will not change.

You are the true narrator of your life everyone else; bystanders.

Oh, Sis… You Betta

Women are capable of many things. We bare children, we keep up with our homes, our families, careers & our social lives. We we wake up everyday, throw on our capes & start the day without skipping a beat. We continue our day with a tenacious “I got to do, what I go to do” without even a second thought. However, if there is anything I believe we fail miserably at is our ability to accept compliments.

Give a woman a compliment & she does not know how to receive it. If she isn’t skeptical, she has a story or a negating comment behind every “thank you”. Somewhere in our conditioning, we have decided that despite what we do, compliments are not ours to keep. That ends today.

We have been conditioned to take the negative before we can ever accept the positive. We work hard. Yet, somehow someone noticing that we do, that we look nice, that we are enough; is not warranted. Honey, you are worth every compliment & more. Start receiving & accepting with a bright smile & a confident “thank you”. Becausd what they say, does not even begin to scratch the surface of how amazing you truly are. You are capable of many things – let tooting your horn be one of them.