Tender Care…

We continue to praise overworking ourselves for a desired outcome instead of giving ourselves tender care when the need for a break has been identified. We often prioritize the needs of the world over our intentional & often necessary self-care; making it last on our priority list.

We owe ourselves fuller lives by ensuring “break times” BEFORE our bodies & our mental health require it from us. Because once our bodies start requiring it; it already too late.

This week, I affirm that—

I will be gentle to myself as I maneuver through the week.

I will be kind to others, but most importantly to myself, when things don’t go as planned.

I will give myself grace even when I feel undeserving of it.

I will take time to realign myself when I feel unbalanced & take heed to my needs.

I will remove myself from the things that do not serve me purpose & limit me from being my best self.

I will be deliberate in how I use my time & how I share my energy.

I will not engage in the things I know drain me but will make intentional efforts to engage in activities that fill my love tank.

I will tap into the things I use to love & see if they still have a place in my life.

I will take time to unwind from the activities of the day, let go of the things I could not control & make efforts to start new tomorrow.

I will give myself the time I need to be who I need to be for me — every single time.

I will stop putting everyone before myself & be deliberate with making healthy choices for me each & every day.

Time Manage Your Self-Care

Morning loves! It’s been quite a while since I’ve checked in with you all. Frankly, I have no other explanation other than, lately, I have been struggling significantly with time management. I have been so caught up in my responsibilities & commitments that other things have fallen off my radar. Therefore, today, I am putting the time aside to remind you to never get so caught up with life that you lose time doing the things you like to do &/or are passionate about. Life is too short to be caught up with nothing but commitments. Life is suppose to be experienced.

Many of us have gotten so use to advocating for self-care when it comes to loved ones & friends; but have forgotten to practice it when it comes to ourselves. Life gets busy. That’s an obvious observation but it really doesn’t take much to pencil YOU in the schedule. Social media has turned self-care into an overly elaborate exercise that requires a lot of time & money that many of us DON’T have. But in actuality, self-care doesn’t have to be any of that. Just make sure it’s something you enjoy, something that makes your heart full (even for a few minutes a day) & the rest will fall into place.

Make an active decision to put YOU as a priority. I recognize that first isn’t always an option but being an option must always be. Don’t only make time for your daily hustle & bustle because those things become monotonous routines that easily make us forget that we are alive; that we are more than someone’s mother, paramour, sister, friend or daughter. Consciously choose to do the things that make your heart excited; the things that inspire you. Make your life count, if not for anyone else, for you anyway.

We can live for a million things but if we can’t live for ourselves too, what else is there to enjoy?

Let’s Talk Faith…

Good morning, Loves. Nothing is truly possible if you don’t have the faith to push you past the capacity of mediocre belief. We get stuck in the safe confines of comfort that we truly forget the benefits that stepping out on faith affords us. Faith is the sprinkle that allows us to manifest the most miraculous things in unimaginable situations. It allows us to see light in dark situations & breeds hope in unideal circumstances.

Despite what you may think, faith isn’t foreign to you. Actually, everyday you step into a task or responsibility that initially manifests from faith-actions. For instance, let’s talk parenting. I am sure you didn’t have the slightest idea how you would do it but you did & do it some how. Even on those difficult days, when things happen out of the norm, you trust that you will be fully equipped to see it through. Switching jobs, changing careers, moving, starting school, even something as simple as driving are clear indicators of faithful decisions we make every day. We are faithful (for the most part) that each day will remain pretty consistent; we trust that we are equipped to handle it when it’s not & we know that overall new opportunities will be afforded to us despite what the present situation is currently showing us.

The catch here is to never forget to jump at those faith driven opportunities even when we do not know what’s on the other side. Because that, is where the beauty of faith lies.

So today I am here to plead with you to never forget how far your faith has gotten you. Don’t ever get so caught up in life’s comforts that you become complacent when your spirit is desiring more. Change can seem scary or make you hesitant but you will benefit immensely from your leaps of faith. Leaps become big strides toward your purpose & they set the pace of where you should be. Don’t be scared of what life has to offer you. Give faith a shot. You’re covered.

Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things seen.

Hebrews 11:1

Settling Looks Bad On You…

Hey loves! Sometimes it is so much easier to settle that a lot of times we don’t even realize that is what we are doing. But despite how we look at it; we have all been guilty of it one time or another. We have settled for the job that under values us, the dead end relationship, the outgrown friendship & even some of the personal goals we have established for ourselves. Life has a funny way of making us complacent when everything else feels out of control. Comfortability can be our worse enemy if we get comfortable in the realms we have settled in. Quite frankly, we are too lit to settle anyway.

Settling severely narrows our perspective. The longer we stay there, the harder it is for us to see bigger & better. For instance, I worked at a job for almost 5 years & although I have gained a lot of knowledge when I was there; there was a time when it stopped being a benefit to me. The job offered more headaches (literally) than positive experiences, I struggled financially & because I fell into this flow of comfortability; I felt undeserving of more. Imposter Syndrome had me thinking I couldn’t get more & that I was unworthy of more; that’s a narrative I know a lot of people are living with every single day- right now. Now 6 months later, I am with a new employer & can see the new horizons in from me. I have new opportunities & have created situations that have afforded me multiple streams of income. Although I knew I was blessed before, the magnitude of how blessed I feel now that I am active & less stress is not missed on me.

So I say all that to say, baby, this is your time. The time of complacency was never fitting for you. Settling because you were comfortable or didn’t want to challenge or disrupt your life’s rhythm was never becoming of you. It kept you from thriving. It kept you from exploring life & discovering new levels to you. Settling makes you fearful & overall boring. Life is so much fun if we just take those leaps of faith & allow ourselves to ripple the water in our ponds. Now ask yourself, is there any aspect of your life that you have settled in? What do you plan to do about it?

Sunday Noon Reminders…

Hello Lovie! Let’s start this week with a few gentle reminders–

Anything that occurred last week that ignited a negative reaction in you has now passed. Should you need to address anything further, you are able to address it with a sound mind & heart.

Any obstacle that you may face during the week will be insignificant by Friday.

You will enter rooms & will be noticed.

Your name will standout in rooms you have yet to enter.

You will have favor on you as you maneuver through opportunities & experiences.

You will find a healthy work-life balance & you will have enough energy to fulfill all your duties.

Tasks that appeared difficult before will be super easy this week.

You will shake off that spirit of procrastination & be productive with your tasks.

The things that you dread will not seem so cumbersome.

You will have tolerance, patience & understanding.

You will be slow to anger & will have exuberant joy.

You will create memories with those you love & you will feel as special as you are.

That things that once caused you turmoil, will no longer have the same effect.

You will begin effectively praying away your anxiety & will begin being able to see past the barrier imposed by it.

Depression will no longer have a stronghold on you & you will be able see more of the future ahead of you.

You will begin to relish in the moments & find gratitude in your ability to do so.

You will understand that love is greater than romance & find creative ways to receive & give love.

You will find appropriate ways to love into yourself & be gentle with the ways that you love others.

You will address & acknowledge your emotions & accept them as an extension of you.

You will not shun them or mistreat yourself for them but will instead learn why they are important.

You will be in tune with the happenings around you & will identify that things that do not suit you.

You will have more positive experiences than negative ones & you will move past the negative ones quickly.

You will have amazing encounters with amazing people.

You will be light.

You will give light.

You will receive light.

You will laugh & laugh often.

You will succeed by defining your own success.

You will receive each experience as a learning opportunity & look forward to the next opportunity.

This week is the start of many others but you will take it one week at a time;

One day at a time;

One moment at a time.

You will wake up tomorrow proud of the person you were today.

And the person that you are today is even greater than you were yesterday.

Learn YOU.

Most of us have a basic expectation of what we desire in a relationship – support, understanding, encouragement, companionship, marriage, happiness, peace (the list continues). However, despite those expectations we fall short when receiving it because we know very little on how to apply & provide it to ourselves, how to recognize it when we have it &/or how to sit tight until we receive it.

Unfortunately, we settle.

& we settle often.

However, understand that it becomes increasingly more difficult to obtain what we desire romantically if we keep giving ourselves the short end of the stick. We need to stop settling for relationships not suitable for us, establish our hard nos; while learning, establishing & sticking to our boundaries. Learning how to love ourselves first & foremost before striving to love anyone else is the best gift we can possibly give ourselves.

Once we master this, we will be equipped to teach others the way best way to love us. But until we do, we can’t possibly
provide the vision of what loving us looks like because the foot work to get there is missing.

Taking the time to love ourselves first & to learn who we are in & out of a relationship; allows us to make full & whole decisions when deciding who is worthy of what we have to offer.

We are done with one sided, unfulfilling, uneventful, experience-less relationships.

Today we declare to stop being part of the reason we do not receive what we deserve. Today, we begin taking the time to love & care for ourselves first without conditions while setting the standards for who and what we deserve. When we learn to love US first & truly; we walk in our our authority & establish standards for those that may pursue us.

We stop settling. We stop turning a blind eye & most importantly we stop skipping the healing process. We need it. After every heartbreak, after every encounter, after every experience we owe it to ourselves to heal & learn ourselves again.

Any time we put into ourselves is time well invested. We are our best investment.

You Made It…

Hey Loves,

Today is the start of a new week. Despite all that happened last week, we made it. You made it. That alone is something to be grateful for. As you maneuver through the week, keep in mind that you did not allow last week’s obstacles to defeat you. You did more than survive. You made it until today & you will keep on making it.

You are awesome.

Strong.

Empowering.

Inspiring.

Safe.

Alive.

Enough.

That alone is enough. Keep thriving baby. You got this.

Sunday Morning Jumpstart…

Let’s start the week off with some affirmations!

I will devote the first 15 minutes of my day preparing myself mentally, spiritually & physically for the day.

I will be gentle & kind to myself when I make a mistake.

I will embrace each error as an opportunity to learn, readjust & reflect.

I will show up for myself, in my best state, every single time.

I will vocalize & remove myself from situations or things that make me feel uncomfortable.

I will not walk in shame & I will stand firmly in my truth.

I will laugh often, anger slowly & rationalize before reacting.

I will be proactive & engaged in the things that matter & benefit me.

I will evaluate what self-love means for me this week because I understand that it varies based on my current state.

I will not accept mediocre engagement but will open myself up to new opportunities.

I will be the best version of myself, for myself, first & foremost.

I will evaluate how each situation makes me feel but I will not dwell on the things I cannot change.

I will radiate the energy I am deserving of.

I will find balance between my spiritual, business, financial & social life.

I will find time to do something to enjoy myself even when it doesn’t appear possible.

I will listen to what my body tells me & I will take heed to what she needs.

I will not receive the negative projections people will try to put on me. However, I will recognize that many things we experience are often larger than us.

I will be kind & will make a positive influence in every room I walk into.

I will stand firmly on my no’s & confidently on my YES.

I will live my life confident in who I am & the light I shine in the world.

& lastly, I will love freely however my heart sees fit.

Mental Health, First. Success, Second.

For forever we have been told the standards in which we should gain & pursue success. Whether it is to go to school, start our own business or obtain a 6 figure job someone has always projected the image of what success should look like for us. Despite the various avenues we take to obtain that success; the overall expectation appears to remain the same– work yourself to the ground, because if you don’t, you don’t want it bad enough. But let me tell you, this way of thinking is outdated & it doesn’t respect you as an individual.

Unbeknownst to many of us, we push theme often because the message is everywhere. It is even in the “inspirational” memes we continuously repost on social media. But today, I am telling you to define your own success & how you obtain it. Narratives that shame you on how you utilize every waking hour of your life is probably one of the most toxic narratives you can receive. Because as you’re hustling to keep up; your mental health is depleting & the reason for your hustle gets forgotten.

What value does your success offer if you lack wholeness? How much can you contribute to your purpose if you are mentally & spiritually depleted? If achieving success at the expense of your mental health is the only option you have, have you actually achieved it?

I say the same thing over & over throughout these memoirs. Live your life by your standards & do not feel bad when you live outside of the confines someone else has imposed. There is nothing wrong with working hard. However, if working hard requires that you sacrifice everything- including yourself; I urge you to re-evaluate your steps.

Life is meant to be lived fully. We are supposed to enjoy the journey we take to get where we are going. If our noses are to the ground & we do not take a moment to enjoy all beautiful things around us; we lost the thing that’s most important…

US.

Nothing, not purpose, not finances, not anything is worth that.

You are the priority.

Imposter Syndrome

Let’s talk about Imposter Syndrome. There have been many times I have experienced this in my lifetime. However, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I started to recognize that the feelings I had associated with this actually had a name. Imposter syndrome is a phenomenon that causes people to doubt their abilities enough to make them question if they belong at the table they are seated. These emotions are often feelings that cause people to invalidate their successes as if their hard work was not enough for them to be deserving of where they are. So many of us work so hard throughout our lives to ensure we provide the life we desire for ourselves and our families. However, despite how hard we work or how prepared we are; many of us combat (at some level) the anxiety associated with imposter syndrome.

Today, I am here to tell you to avoid succumbing to this warped perspective & claim the things you worked so hard for. You don’t have to work harder than the next person to prove you belong there. The fact that you are there, sitting at the same table, in the same room is all the confirmation that you need. You are not there by coincidence or happenstance but because God’s favor opened the door you chose to walk through & that’s enough reason to be where you are; doing what you’re doing.

Baby girl, those late nights & early mornings you invested were not for nothing. The education, the brainstorming & the creating got you there. No one knows the sacrifices you have made to be where you are & no one lays down at night being accountable for your choices and actions but you. Everything you ever wanted & received became a manifestation that you worked for. Don’t take that from yourself.

They told you the world is yours. Don’t doubt it.