Learn YOU.

Most of us have a basic expectation of what we desire in a relationship – support, understanding, encouragement, companionship, marriage, happiness, peace (the list continues). However, despite those expectations we fall short when receiving it because we know very little on how to apply & provide it to ourselves, how to recognize it when we have it &/or how to sit tight until we receive it.

Unfortunately, we settle.

& we settle often.

However, understand that it becomes increasingly more difficult to obtain what we desire romantically if we keep giving ourselves the short end of the stick. We need to stop settling for relationships not suitable for us, establish our hard nos; while learning, establishing & sticking to our boundaries. Learning how to love ourselves first & foremost before striving to love anyone else is the best gift we can possibly give ourselves.

Once we master this, we will be equipped to teach others the way best way to love us. But until we do, we can’t possibly
provide the vision of what loving us looks like because the foot work to get there is missing.

Taking the time to love ourselves first & to learn who we are in & out of a relationship; allows us to make full & whole decisions when deciding who is worthy of what we have to offer.

We are done with one sided, unfulfilling, uneventful, experience-less relationships.

Today we declare to stop being part of the reason we do not receive what we deserve. Today, we begin taking the time to love & care for ourselves first without conditions while setting the standards for who and what we deserve. When we learn to love US first & truly; we walk in our our authority & establish standards for those that may pursue us.

We stop settling. We stop turning a blind eye & most importantly we stop skipping the healing process. We need it. After every heartbreak, after every encounter, after every experience we owe it to ourselves to heal & learn ourselves again.

Any time we put into ourselves is time well invested. We are our best investment.

You Made It…

Hey Loves,

Today is the start of a new week. Despite all that happened last week, we made it. You made it. That alone is something to be grateful for. As you maneuver through the week, keep in mind that you did not allow last week’s obstacles to defeat you. You did more than survive. You made it until today & you will keep on making it.

You are awesome.

Strong.

Empowering.

Inspiring.

Safe.

Alive.

Enough.

That alone is enough. Keep thriving baby. You got this.

Sunday Morning Jumpstart…

Let’s start the week off with some affirmations!

I will devote the first 15 minutes of my day preparing myself mentally, spiritually & physically for the day.

I will be gentle & kind to myself when I make a mistake.

I will embrace each error as an opportunity to learn, readjust & reflect.

I will show up for myself, in my best state, every single time.

I will vocalize & remove myself from situations or things that make me feel uncomfortable.

I will not walk in shame & I will stand firmly in my truth.

I will laugh often, anger slowly & rationalize before reacting.

I will be proactive & engaged in the things that matter & benefit me.

I will evaluate what self-love means for me this week because I understand that it varies based on my current state.

I will not accept mediocre engagement but will open myself up to new opportunities.

I will be the best version of myself, for myself, first & foremost.

I will evaluate how each situation makes me feel but I will not dwell on the things I cannot change.

I will radiate the energy I am deserving of.

I will find balance between my spiritual, business, financial & social life.

I will find time to do something to enjoy myself even when it doesn’t appear possible.

I will listen to what my body tells me & I will take heed to what she needs.

I will not receive the negative projections people will try to put on me. However, I will recognize that many things we experience are often larger than us.

I will be kind & will make a positive influence in every room I walk into.

I will stand firmly on my no’s & confidently on my YES.

I will live my life confident in who I am & the light I shine in the world.

& lastly, I will love freely however my heart sees fit.

Mental Health, First. Success, Second.

For forever we have been told the standards in which we should gain & pursue success. Whether it is to go to school, start our own business or obtain a 6 figure job someone has always projected the image of what success should look like for us. Despite the various avenues we take to obtain that success; the overall expectation appears to remain the same– work yourself to the ground, because if you don’t, you don’t want it bad enough. But let me tell you, this way of thinking is outdated & it doesn’t respect you as an individual.

Unbeknownst to many of us, we push theme often because the message is everywhere. It is even in the “inspirational” memes we continuously repost on social media. But today, I am telling you to define your own success & how you obtain it. Narratives that shame you on how you utilize every waking hour of your life is probably one of the most toxic narratives you can receive. Because as you’re hustling to keep up; your mental health is depleting & the reason for your hustle gets forgotten.

What value does your success offer if you lack wholeness? How much can you contribute to your purpose if you are mentally & spiritually depleted? If achieving success at the expense of your mental health is the only option you have, have you actually achieved it?

I say the same thing over & over throughout these memoirs. Live your life by your standards & do not feel bad when you live outside of the confines someone else has imposed. There is nothing wrong with working hard. However, if working hard requires that you sacrifice everything- including yourself; I urge you to re-evaluate your steps.

Life is meant to be lived fully. We are supposed to enjoy the journey we take to get where we are going. If our noses are to the ground & we do not take a moment to enjoy all beautiful things around us; we lost the thing that’s most important…

US.

Nothing, not purpose, not finances, not anything is worth that.

You are the priority.

Imposter Syndrome

Let’s talk about Imposter Syndrome. There have been many times I have experienced this in my lifetime. However, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I started to recognize that the feelings I had associated with this actually had a name. Imposter syndrome is a phenomenon that causes people to doubt their abilities enough to make them question if they belong at the table they are seated. These emotions are often feelings that cause people to invalidate their successes as if their hard work was not enough for them to be deserving of where they are. So many of us work so hard throughout our lives to ensure we provide the life we desire for ourselves and our families. However, despite how hard we work or how prepared we are; many of us combat (at some level) the anxiety associated with imposter syndrome.

Today, I am here to tell you to avoid succumbing to this warped perspective & claim the things you worked so hard for. You don’t have to work harder than the next person to prove you belong there. The fact that you are there, sitting at the same table, in the same room is all the confirmation that you need. You are not there by coincidence or happenstance but because God’s favor opened the door you chose to walk through & that’s enough reason to be where you are; doing what you’re doing.

Baby girl, those late nights & early mornings you invested were not for nothing. The education, the brainstorming & the creating got you there. No one knows the sacrifices you have made to be where you are & no one lays down at night being accountable for your choices and actions but you. Everything you ever wanted & received became a manifestation that you worked for. Don’t take that from yourself.

They told you the world is yours. Don’t doubt it.

Everything is A Choice

Remember Loves,

This week is yours to do what you want with it.

It is up to you to make active choices to —

Be happy

Be confident

Start fresh

Love without conditions

Start establishing boundaries

Make intentional & deliberate decisions that elevate you & others

Learn something new

Make someone smile

Engage in positive conversations

Tackle unforeseen obstacles

& tap into your tribe, if needed.

(because you shouldn’t go through life alone)

Life is all about choices & often we get so caught up with what is in front of us that we forget that every decision we make, every action we take, is an active choice we choose to make. We have to be willing to accept that although there may be instances where choices are not clear; how we react to any given situation, whether good or bad, is still a choice.

You are too powerful to not recognize that you have the ability to make a choice in everything you do. Just take a moment, sit back, be slower to react & pick the option that bests suit you & what you stand for. Determine if whatever you face (whether good or bad) deserves the energy you want to give it.

Make every choice count.

Friendship; God’s Reminders.

Today is a reminder to consistently have people around you that pour into you. Amongst my friends, it has been very evident that the past few months things have been pretty difficult for me. I am blessed that in their own way, they have been there in different capacities; capacities that have exceeded my expectations. Many people tell you they will be there however, I am truly amazed at the capacity people have been. Without a thought, without a question & without missing a beat, they have been there.

As time progresses, I am reminded that meaningful friendships help make life rich. Unfortunately, society has made us think that isolation for the sake of success is normal. Instead of creating sustainable & healthy relationships with the people we love, we have started to put our professions, finances & material desires first. Although those things do matter, the amount of love you receive & the memories you create with the people you love are most important.

Life has a ton of things to remind you that it’s worth living. God put intricate details into everything he has created & in the midst of chaos, if you’re open to it, you will notice things that will make your heart smile. That is how quality friendships are; God’s gentle reminders that it is going to be ok. Regardless of how hard life can be, there are still people here that love you. When you find yourself most ugly, there are people who see your beauty as it is, who love you & are willing to run the obstacle with you.

I pray you have been open enough to receive & recognize these genuine relationships in your life. I pray that you understand that all obstacles weren’t made to be tackled alone & sometimes their willingness to step in takes away the burden of having to do it all alone. I have been immensely blessed because my loved ones made a conscious decision to seek me out when I felt isolation was best. Their interference allowed me to look at the brighter side of things & although things are not perfect now;things feel a little better because I am not alone.

I want that for you. Feeling supported makes a difference in our ability to tackle the things that are stressing us. So if you have a “healthy” someone that wants in when you’re struggling let them in. They see your worth when you can’t & will love on you when you feel unlovable.

It is quite simple, really. Life is too short to go through it alone. So, don’t.

N&Co. First Virtual Soirée – Mastermind Edition

Hello!

Nickkie&Co. is hosting it’s first Women’s Master Mind with 3 phenomenal women entrepreneurs (from all walks of life) that have proven to be successful in their careers. The idea of this mastermind is to show you that you can do it too. You can take total control of your legacy, so get ready to join us. It’s going to be a great time.

Everyone who registers is automatically entered into 4 raffles totaling $1000 in free stuff: free Amazon mastermind course totaling $500, 1 business consultation totaling $250, (2) nickkie&co memoir bundles totaling $100 each.

Purchase your ticket to your soirée today to get in on the conversaron. Zoom details provided post registration. http://nickkieandco.ticketleap.com/nickkieco-virtual-soire-womens-mastermind/



See you soon ❥

Stay Encouraged…

It’s very difficult to look at the bright side of things when everything around you seems to be falling apart. However, although things may not be the way you have desired them to be it is important to stay encouraged, have faith & keep yourself encouraged as things get better. Despite any obstacles or inconveniences you may be facing; keep these affirmations in mind to boost your morale when things get a little tough.

I will not over extend myself.

I will determine what needs my immediate attention & plan accordingly.

I will not take on anyone else’s emergencies as my own.

However, I will be available, as a friend, if I feel I am capable of doing so.

I will feed into myself spiritually when I feel “off” & spend time with myself to process how I am feeling.

I know that whatever I am going through currently is temporary.

I know that people will come through for me when I need them.

I understand that “you are not alone” is not just a statement. Most people will step up in their capacity.

I am loved immensely, even if I may not feel like it.

I will not diminish my accomplishments because things are hard now.

I will not let social media define my success.

I will not let my employer take more from me than I can give.

I will be deliberate with putting time aside for myself.

I will listen to my body when it tells me I need a break.

I will not take life so seriously that I can not take in the moments.

I will cry if I need to but I will laugh in fullness.

My problems are resolved in advance & this time will pass.

People may not know what I am experiencing but they will understand that I need time.

What I have put back into the earth will come back full circle & I am blessed for that.

I am my own superhero & that’s all I need to be.

But just like any superhero, I am entitled to some time to rest.

I am in charge of my emotions.

They are not in charge of me.

Therefore, today, I am choosing…

To be happy…

To be optimistic.

I understand that all things happen as they should.

All things have a divine order.

I will not beat myself up for not keeping up.

I am going in the speed I am supposed to.

Life will turn out to be better than the way I ever imagined.

I will buckle down, have faith & love the journey.

The journey, although not always how I want it to be, is mine.

It is beautiful.

Life Isn’t A Coincidence…

Life has a way of giving you confirmation for the things you aspire for. However, many of us spend so much time focusing on our routines that we fail to slow down & pay attention to those nuances that serve as confirmation for the things we desire. As I get older, gain experience & begin recognizing the power of manifestation; I am learning that everything comes around full circle— every action has a direct consequence, every desire has the ability to be more & most of us miss opportunities that are right in front of us because we are too busy NOT looking & not maximizing on the opportunities in front of us.

Therefore, today we begin being intentional. We start manifesting with expectation. We begin lacing our expectation with confidence & become readily available to receive. Every action step we take will give us favor. Every word we speak will gain the attention of the person who has influence. Every room we step in will be an opportunity to showcase ourselves & every door we close, readily prepares us for another to open. Today we stop selling ourselves short, stop thinking we aren’t enough & we stop missing out on our dreams while making someone else’s come true.

Nothing we experience, nothing we aspire to be, nothing that suddenly inspires us happens by coincidence. It is in God’s divine timing, his deliberate mission & our ability to identify the things that are for us that will allow us to take heed of our greatest desires. The foundation has been established. It’s on us not to lose on it.