What can I say? It’s been a hectic few weeks with all the negative effects associated with the Corona virus & the sudden, yet mandatory, need to be socially distant. Despite the unfortunate circumstances surrounding this pandemic; in this time, I have become acutely aware of the blessing in being still, spending time with family & being home.
This quarantine has given me the ability to put the rest of the world on pause & hit the play button on what was most important– ME. Gratefully, this quarantine, although not always regarded to fondly, has turned off all the noise. It has brought a new & welcomed silence that has allowed me to reflect on my own behavior, my need for constant healing, our ability to be resilient & the wonders of God –even in all the chaos.
You see, this chaos is different, though. This chaos is fueled with fear & uncertainty. It is not the chaos we have grown accustom to. You know, the chaos that requires constant movement, over exertion, limited time for our families, limitations on our ability to self reflect & spiritually align ourselves. Right now, we are not required to run off limited energy. Instead we are required to remember what it is like to go back to the basics so that we can exude gratitude when things are back in motion.
I am not oblivious to how difficult this virus & quarantine has made people’s lives. I also understand that people will need time to recover financially, physically & emotionally. However, I am not blind to the opportunities this has afforded us & the overwhelming peace I have in knowing that God is with us in this; as he promised.
I pray that in this you are able to reflect on what this quarantine means to you & that you use this opportunity to better yourself through rest, peace & love. Because as I always say — this time is no different– all things made to derail you will be flipped for your glory.
As we all know, things have been specifically special this week with the rambunctious spread of the COVID-19 virus. Although I understand the seriousness of the virus & the importance of following the necessary precautions; this outbreak has given me disappointing realization over things rather quickly.
1. People’s fear outweighs any ability to rationalize. Faith is almost non-existent at this time.
2. People are mean & self preserving with very little regard for others.
It saddens me. As human beings we would like to believe that despite how effed up things may be; we are inherently good people. Whatever our past experiences entail or what pandemic or outbreak that occurs, we want to believe that the best versions of ourselves will shine through- always. However, that may be the case for some people, but definitely not the standard right now.
In this chaos, we stopped dealing with each other in love & have been functioning simply for ourselves & our immediate families. This is evident when going to our local supermarket & chain stores. The shelves are empty. But not because they didn’t properly equip themselves but because individuals have bulked supplied their homes with little regard to leave things for others. This is a clear misunderstanding of how our faith should function. Yes, we should prepare ourselves & follow precautions but we should know that we will come out of this unscathed. That all things do work in our benefit & that God has had us & still has us through this.
I ask you to think of yourself & think of others not just now but always. We can accomplish so many other things working together & looking out for each other. We do not have to limit resources to ensure survival. This is the time that we should open our hearts to show what love is when people have forgotten.
Show your faith. Shine your light. Share your love.
Happy International Women’s Day!!! Any day to celebrate women is something worth shaking my tail feather for (lol). However, a day specifically set aside to celebrate the advancements of women gives me a feeling of triumph. It forces the world to keep “US” in mind. It forces them to remember that as an oppressed demographic; we still get it done regardless of what legislation or parties in place to tells us. We have shown the world that together we are a force. We stand firm & we are proud. However, this celebration is not for one day. This celebration is everyday. We should be proud of what we have done as a unit – EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Because the advancement of one is an accomplishment for us all.
I urge you today & every day to keep this in mind. The advancements we have made in history; coupled with our own individual achievements should give us the fuel to exude pride; always. They have made us who we are as women & made us even stronger united. Your sister’s story is your story & your story is hers. From one sister to another. From one friend to a friend; one mother to another & one daughter to a daughter. We are our sister’s keeper. Her sorrow is ours. Her joy is ours too. Her hopes & desires are rooted in us.
This will likely be the most frank memoir I have written since I started Nickkie&Co. However so, it needs to be said. Sometimes we find ourselves in unideal situations because we talk too much! We find our motivations, goals & accomplishments under attack because we do not believe in moving in silence. With social media being a constant outlet for many of us, we subject ourselves to the negative energy & the attention of the wrong individuals. The most valuable lesson I have learned is that although my intentions are genuine- everyone does not have the same heart as I do. With that said, it is ok to not give front row seats to the live action film of your life. Everyone does not deserve the play-by-play. Instead, tread through your journey with close ones & share the testimony when you get there.
When we are not conscious of what we put out for the world to see; we make our lives, families & loved ones the target to the envious intent of other people. Though we should not live in fear & should be able to express when we are proud; the journey is NOT for everyone to witness. We can move silently & be humble. We can be private & effective. We can be proud & be deliberate. We can continue to strive for more & remain humble.
Be selective. Be conscious. Use discernment. Be quiet.
People always give their unsolicited opinions about our lives, how we should & should not live them & what exactly they feel we should aspire to be. Though it may come from a good place; no one knows what’s best for our life but… US. As we get older our experiences prepare us for a life we choose to live. However, we err when we negate our plans & desires for what someone else sees for us. Warranted advice is appreciated but the final outcome is up to us.
Be the author, narrator & publisher of your own life. Follow your heart, pursue your dreams, find your passion & create your own path. It is you who will deal with consequences of what you did & did not do. So live your life, your way & in the best way you see fit. People will spend YOUR whole life telling YOU all about YOUR magic.
Anyone that knows me on a personal level can vouch for what I am about to say. I am an extremely emotional person. If you break down the façade of my “tough” exterior you will see that I am a big softy. I am extremely empathic & it leaves me vulnerable to feel significantly the pains & joys of other people. A quality that I hated so much about myself; that often made me feel insignificant or dismissed as invalid has now been embraced & accepted as a strong quality that contributes to who I am today.
Although early on society told me that being emotional is a weak characteristic, is only associated with irrational women & should be discarded; I have learned to disregard what I was conditioned to believe so long ago. Because being emotional has allowed me to make an impact for those who need it, be genuine when I receive good news & has propelled my professional career in ways I never would have imagined a year ago. The importance is in how we channel our emotions & that we use it for good. After all, being emotional or emotionally driven is different than being an irrational person. We currently live in a world that laughs in the face of emotions but encourages dysfunction. But because of our emotions, we are great mothers, amazing friends, nurturing to our spouses & efficient in our jobs.
Therefore, today, I want to tell you that what you feel matters. What & how you process what you feel matters. How you express what you feel matters & the fact that you feel matters, significantly. Do not allow the world to tell you this is unacceptable. Do not let them muffle it out. Your emotion is the flame that ignites your voice. It allows you to stand up for injustices when you see them, give words of encouragement when you recognize the need, whisper loving words to your children at night, hum sweet nothings to your spouse during intimate moments & allows you to advocate for yourself when you are told to stand back. To allow someone, anyone, to disregard what you feel, creates suffocation & dullness in multiple facets of your life where it is needed.