Set Boundaries. Periodtttt!

Boundaries are “lines that mark the limits of an area” & although this term is used in various ways – particularly in relation to self care & preservation – very few of us truly understand it’s importance. I have been diligent in ensuring that I assess & re-asess my behaviors, responses & reactions to how I am feeling & how others make me feel on a consistent basis.

However so, I continue to learn that establishing boundaries are not my strongest suite. Sure, I advocate for myself & speak up (not always the best way) when I need to. But by then, opportunities in which I should have established clear boundaries have come & gone. Being able to speak up & advocate for yourself is NOT the same as establishing clear boundaries that says “this is where I draw the line.” I have learned now, more than ever, that people will always do what you allow them to do; they will even test their limits to see how much further they can go. If we fail to establish those boundaries we cheat ourselves from peace. What is peace if we are unable to preserve it for ourselves? We cannot require things from people if we do not set the standard of the expectation.

So as you start this week, I urge you to take the time to evaluate your interactions – what makes you feel great & what doesn’t– & learn what boundaries you need to have in place. You need to care for YOU before you can be productive doing anything else. Stop trying to heal everyone & fix everything before tending to the your body is telling you it needs. Pay attention. Many times, your initial feeling is the guide to establishing the boundary that needs to be set in place. If it does not feel right than it is not right. Draw the line.

Moms, Remember This…

Happy Mother’s Day to the mothers, soon-to-be mothers, attempting mothers, mothers in heaven & those who play motherly roles! Your influence is appreciated & your love is unmatched. Although motherhood has not graced my life yet, I am aware of how hard you are on yourselves on a regular basis so…

Life (physically & mentally) could not happen without you.

You have super powers that being someone’s mommy affords you.

You bring comfort to those who need you.

You inspire those who watch you.

The world does not always appreciate you but it would not go round without you.

You are multifaceted & play many roles.

You are a Chef.

A nurse.

A teacher.

A therapist.

A chauffer.

A referee & mediator.

A best friend.

A sister.

A protector.

You are strong beyond measure.

You serve those you love to perfection.

You defend with precision.

You provide experiences & memories to cherish.

Your love is the midas touch. Everything it touches turns to gold.

You birth new life every day by simply being you.

You support without question & provide wisdom in your statements.

You organize a life that may not have been provided to you…

…But you do so without hesitation.

You are power & bliss.

Sunshine & a calming rain storm.

You are fire & ice.

A force untouchable.

A testament of LOVE.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Spread Life NOT Gossip

Sitting at home we have a lot of extra time to invest our energy into a variety of things. Depending on where our mindset is, we will either choose to devote our energy into positive or negative things. It is imperative now more than ever to speak beauty into life instead of contributing to the ugliness there is by gossiping.

Regardless of how much we deny this- we are all guilty of it. We spew out negative energy that is not of us. We were not created to thrive off the shortcomings & inconsistencies of others & we surely were not meant to spread it, either. However, if we spent more time being conscious of our own we would be able to manifest that energy to becoming a better version of ourselves.

Because the truth is, gossip is poison. We hurt people when we spread negative statements about their character & fail to give them opportunities to redeem or defend themselves against what is being said. Keep in mind that what we say not only effects the person but it effects the people who love them. This could have lasting effects that make it significantly difficult to get past. People’s character will show others who they are; they don’t need our help. We get caught up with people kicking our own backs in but fail to recognize the irony when we do it. We receive what we give out to the world so now, more than ever, we need to mind our business & not speak life into things that are not becoming of us.

We are light. When we do anything other than spread light; we lose. We demote ourselves when we engage in things that are beneath us. We are above this. Although it may take a conscious effort not to engage; our abilities far extend past a negative statement that we give life to by passing it on.

“On the day of judgment, people will give account for every careless word they speak” Matthew 12:36

& we should prefer to be praised for the life we spoke into others when we face our father. Period.

Recuerdos.

You are woman.

You are muse.

You are brave.

You are intelligent.

You are light.

You have super powers.

Everything you touch grows.

You give life into all things around you.

Being vocal does not make you “angry”.

Being firm does not make you “mean”.

Being smart does not mean you are not humble.

Accept the lessons in your experiences.

Release love in all interactions.

Love your body. It works hard for you every day.

You are beautiful as you are. You do not need to change anything unless you want to.

Laugh often. Even when you do not want to.

Push fear aside & create something amazing.

Be responsible for your own joy.

Radiate respect.

Be inspired & inspire.

Exude confidence. Always. Even when confident is not what you are feeling.

Define your own standards of success.

Set out what you want your life to look like & go after it.

Favor is on your life. You need not to worry.

Your breakdowns are your breakthroughs.

There is no need to be perfect every day. Be you.

Make commitments & keep them.

Be sure in what you have to offer.

You are entitled to breaks. You do not need to keep going & going & going.

Expect the best from every situation.

Silence your inner critic. She does not belong.

Believe you can & you will.

Be still & know that God is with you (psalms 46:10).

It Begins With A Positive Statement.

Today is a blessing.

I am stronger than any & every obstacle.

I will handle all obstacles with precision.

I am purpose FULL.

I change lives with every encounter; for I am light.

I am strong.

I matter.

I have been created to speak with dominion on this earth.

Anything I dream will manifest into reality.

I may not always feel my best, but a negative thought will not leave my lips.

I speak positivity so that I can receive it.

I am what I put out into the world & it is beautiful.

My errors do not define me.

I am success.

I attract success.

My relationships (romantic & platonic) are healthy.

I am an artist. Brilliant ideas are created in me.

I am a magnet for prosperity.

I will recoup & double any financials I may have lost.

My voice matters.

My faith moves mountains.

I am a well of hope for those who feel hopeless.

I am a powerhouse; I am indestructible.

Difficult times are temporary but the skills I gain during these times are eternal.

Illness will not touch me or my home.

I will not succumb to the battle of the mind in these times.

I move in confidence. I am confidence.

I am at peace.

I am free of worry & regret.

I am stronger than anxiety.

I will push all depressing thoughts out of mind; for they do not belong here.

I accept that I have not missed anything that was not for me.

I forgive myself for counting myself out when I shouldn’t have.

I deserve, have & will continue to have – abundant joy.

I will be an inspiration to many; even if they do not tell me.

I will be in a place that allows me to bless those as I have been blessed.

I am wise.

What I say is valuable.

I am loved.

I am love.

I share love.

I trust my instincts to care for myself.

I honor my own boundaries & set them for others.

I deserve the best me I can offer myself.

I am optimistic of what I will gain out of this life.

It is just beginning.

Peace in Quarantine.

Happy Sunday Beauts!!!

What can I say? It’s been a hectic few weeks with all the negative effects associated with the Corona virus & the sudden, yet mandatory, need to be socially distant. Despite the unfortunate circumstances surrounding this pandemic; in this time, I have become acutely aware of the blessing in being still, spending time with family & being home. 

This quarantine has given me the ability to put the rest of the world on pause & hit the play button on what was most important– ME. Gratefully, this quarantine, although not always regarded to fondly, has turned off all the noise. It has brought a new & welcomed silence that has allowed me to reflect on my own behavior, my need for constant healing, our ability to be resilient & the wonders of God –even in all the chaos.

You see, this chaos is different, though. This chaos is fueled with fear & uncertainty. It is not the chaos we have grown accustom to. You know, the chaos that requires constant movement, over exertion, limited time for our families, limitations on our ability to self reflect & spiritually align ourselves. Right now, we are not required to run off limited energy. Instead we are required to remember what it is like to go back to the basics so that we can exude gratitude when things are back in motion.

I am not oblivious to how difficult this virus & quarantine has made people’s lives. I also understand that people will need time to recover financially, physically & emotionally. However, I am not blind to the opportunities this has afforded us & the overwhelming peace I have in knowing that God is with us in this; as he promised.

I pray that in this you are able to reflect on what this quarantine means to you & that you use this opportunity to better yourself through rest, peace & love. Because as I always say — this time is no different– all things made to derail you will be flipped for your glory.

Psalm 91:10-11

Caring Through Corona

As we all know, things have been specifically special this week with the rambunctious spread of the COVID-19 virus. Although I understand the seriousness of the virus & the importance of following the necessary precautions; this outbreak has given me disappointing realization over things rather quickly.

1. People’s fear outweighs any ability to rationalize. Faith is almost non-existent at this time.

2. People are mean & self preserving with very little regard for others.

It saddens me. As human beings we would like to believe that despite how effed up things may be; we are inherently good people. Whatever our past experiences entail or what pandemic or outbreak that occurs, we want to believe that the best versions of ourselves will shine through- always. However, that may be the case for some people, but definitely not the standard right now.

In this chaos, we stopped dealing with each other in love & have been functioning simply for ourselves & our immediate families. This is evident when going to our local supermarket & chain stores. The shelves are empty. But not because they didn’t properly equip themselves but because individuals have bulked supplied their homes with little regard to leave things for others. This is a clear misunderstanding of how our faith should function. Yes, we should prepare ourselves & follow precautions but we should know that we will come out of this unscathed. That all things do work in our benefit & that God has had us & still has us through this.

I ask you to think of yourself & think of others not just now but always. We can accomplish so many other things working together & looking out for each other. We do not have to limit resources to ensure survival. This is the time that we should open our hearts to show what love is when people have forgotten.

Show your faith. Shine your light. Share your love.

Shut Up…

This will likely be the most frank memoir I have written since I started Nickkie&Co. However so, it needs to be said. Sometimes we find ourselves in unideal situations because we talk too much! We find our motivations, goals & accomplishments under attack because we do not believe in moving in silence. With social media being a constant outlet for many of us, we subject ourselves to the negative energy & the attention of the wrong individuals. The most valuable lesson I have learned is that although my intentions are genuine- everyone does not have the same heart as I do. With that said, it is ok to not give front row seats to the live action film of your life. Everyone does not deserve the play-by-play. Instead, tread through your journey with close ones & share the testimony when you get there.

When we are not conscious of what we put out for the world to see; we make our lives, families & loved ones the target to the envious intent of other people. Though we should not live in fear & should be able to express when we are proud; the journey is NOT for everyone to witness. We can move silently & be humble. We can be private & effective. We can be proud & be deliberate. We can continue to strive for more & remain humble.

Be selective. Be conscious. Use discernment. Be quiet.

It’s Your Life; Your Story.

People always give their unsolicited opinions about our lives, how we should & should not live them & what exactly they feel we should aspire to be. Though it may come from a good place; no one knows what’s best for our life but… US. As we get older our experiences prepare us for a life we choose to live. However, we err when we negate our plans & desires for what someone else sees for us. Warranted advice is appreciated but the final outcome is up to us.

Be the author, narrator & publisher of your own life. Follow your heart, pursue your dreams, find your passion & create your own path. It is you who will deal with consequences of what you did & did not do. So live your life, your way & in the best way you see fit. People will spend YOUR whole life telling YOU all about YOUR magic.

The magic is yours; do with it as you wish.