Leaving A Legacy

At some point of my life, up until recently, I always had, what I believed to be a clear understanding of what success is & what it looked like. Now that life has had it’s fun with me by showing me many times that life would never be what I expect it to be; I have a different understanding of what success is. Naively, I believed success equated to a career, the large house I would live in, the luxury car I would drive, the amount of money I would have in the bank & the picture perfect marriage with happy & healthy children. But I realize now, that success is so much more than what I once believed it to be. I am a firm believer that success has less to do with monetary values & more to do with the things that are free.

Success for me is the ability to live a spiritual & joyful life that makes me so high, I will always find the positive in whatever negative thing life may throw my way. Success is the positive & healthy relationships I build with my friends, family & loved ones that are full of support, understanding, knowledge & laughter. It includes accepting myself as I am, loving myself enough to know when I am being mistreated & being ok with removing myself from the equation because I have learned to put myself first. Although, acquiring material riches are not my motive, I understand that success includes leaving behind a legacy for my family to enjoy once I am no longer here to enjoy it with them.

Through this pursuit, I understand that I am not living this life for me alone. I understand that, god willing, there will be generations started from me that will live on this earth long after I am gone. Though I strive to reach my pennicle of success, I understand that my actions can surely effect my bloodline. Hence, why I strive to be my best self now, so that I could be my best self for them when it is time. I understand that being the best version of myself for them includes dealing with intergenerational shortcomings that may have been passed on from generations before me. My ultimate indicator of success is not to have a perfect family, but a family that is conscious & aware of their inconsistencies & are willing to deal with them. I want to contribute to experiences that do not haunt them & drag into their own interpersonal relationships. Because the truth is, the way they will love, will have everything to do with the way they are loved. I strive to not curse my family so that they have the best chance at their best life; in which ever way they choose to acquire that. I want to ensure that when they reflect on who I was & what I did for them they understand that, although I am not perfect I have done all things with them in mind. Who knows, maybe my great grand children will one day find this Nickkie&CO. platform & get the best understanding of who I am, who I strive to be & if I have done so successfully. I will never know, but I do know that what I leave behind for them is the best thing I can offer them.

We are getting older, people pass on & life continues whether we are her to enjoy it or not. So, it is important that we leave the generations after us something that will allow them to spread their fruit unto the earth by leaving something that can contribute to their quality of life. Life is so much more than what we can do for ourselves. Though we should strive to enjoy every aspect of our lives, it should consist of more than temporary financial riches & unpaid debt. Significant life lessons & true assets can do more for the livelihood of your family than the reflection of what once was or what could have been. Invest in them in ways you would have wished to be invested in & let the rest of your work & sacrifices manifest.

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Blooming Above Domestic Violence


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Welcome back Conglomerates! Today, we have another brave & courageous Guest Inspiration, Tejal, who opted to share her testimony with us as a domestic violence survivor. Despite what her story looks like she exudes self-love & loves the skin she is in. She is forthcoming with her story to remind others that they are not alone & survival can be accomplished. It is with much gratitude, appreciation & respect that I present to you today, Conglomerate Tejal…

Hello my name is Tejal also known as the makeup artist, lifestyle blogger, @brightdollface & writer of BloomingKiss Poetry, @bloomingkisspoetry. I recently ended my eleven year relationship with my ex-fiancé about two years ago. I was twenty-five years old at the time. I met him while I was dealing with my parent’s situation at home with domestic violence (D.V.).  I came from a household of alcohol not drugs. When I met him; he was seventeen years old & I started dating him at the age of fourteen. I decided to share my testimony as a domestic violence survivor because I know this will resonate with someone, somewhere.

When we began our relationship I recognized that he would smoke cigarettes but I did not know of his drinking nor of him smoking marijuana. I was never exposed to drugs so I was naive & was not able to comprehend the use of substances or the consequences other than alcohol. When I began to notice his heavy drinking and marijuana use, I became upset & told him he needed to stop using. I realized it was a coping mechanism for him to deal with his life issues — being an undocumented immigrant without hardly any family here & helping his family back in Honduras, Central America.

In the first couple years of our relationship, he was sweet & kind. But then he began to use cocaine, which I did not realize until later on when we moved from his father’s apartment to our own; in the next building over. I began to notice he became angrier & aggressive but I questioned why if I did nothing but help both of us out. I remember one night he became so angry, he must have been high; all I could recall was being on the floor in my kitchen crying with him on top of me. He hit me & the next day he apologized. I blacked out in that instant. I sustained an injury by him. My neighbors overheard & they wanted to call the police but I did not want to because he was undocumented & I did not want to see him deported. I forgave him because I loved him & I could not go back home to the situation with my parents.

As we moved back to his father’s, I could see that something had changed in him for the worse. This was when I was almost finished with my bachelor’s degree in 2013. I could tell he was using a stronger substance. Subsequently, I then noticed he would be out late for hours & I assumed he was cheating. He confessed one night & told me he was not cheating; he was addicted to Crack Cocaine. He then lost his job as a Baker & was out of work for two years. I graduated from College with my Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology & minor in Sociology in 2013, despite the struggles & issues I faced overall in life –at home & in our relationship, but most of all throughout all the abuse I succumbed. I obtained a fulltime job in social services as a Case Planner in New York City at a foster care agency. I was able to remain resilient despite being verbally, physically mentally & emotionally abused. It became harder & harder to leave him.

I maintained us both for those two years until I decided to leave one night. He had hit me so hard while I fought back because he tried to steal my cellphone, once again, to pawn it like he did my engagement ring, my jewelry my father gave me, tablets I had to purchase multiple times & my computer I needed while in Grad School, etc. I had family support & left to my other father’s home in Queens. I remained there until I obtained my own apartment in Jersey. Throughout his addiction in the last four to five years of our relationship, the first two years were the worst, it felt as if I was in hell, literally. He would take my cards, my money, steal my phone, tell me drug dealers were trying to kill him if he did not pay. I did not know how the streets functioned regarding drugs so, I believed him. I lost so much money but I lost him the day he began addicted to crack & I lost him even before as he transitioned from alcohol to marijuana to cocaine and to crack.

But my life was more important to me than losing him. I had lost myself so deep over the years. I hated who I had become. I was angry & I had hurt myself by overeating. I believed every word he would tell me. I was angry that I was abandoned by my parents & had to fend for myself. I entered such a toxic relationship after leaving a toxic home where I needed the love directly from my parents & no one else. I ended our relationship so many times. I moved away & he moved with me to the new apartment & so forth, but this time it was for good. I enabled him so much & I relied on his presence. I became so co-dependent on him which resulted by him always manipulating me, even when it came to my friends & family by making me think they did not care for me. It took time to heal. It took everything to fight to be here today, to love myself whole heartedly, to love who I am & not be ashamed (because boy, oh, boy, was I ashamed of myself for staying in this relationship). I was ashamed of being a domestic violence victim like my mother who stayed with my father until he passed away 7 years ago due to his alcoholism.

I broke the cycle & I say that with so much courage & bravery. It took me to unlearn everything I became & all the negative learned behaviors & thoughts to be here today. I was in therapy during & after leaving the eleven year relationship. My support system–  my previous supervisors, friends & family would tell me to leave. I tried but I thought he would change for us & for him but he could not. He had me believe he would but he never did. He tried, we went to Narcotics Anonymous groups but he stopped attending. He believed he could become sober on his own but he just could not. I had to become “sick & tired of being sick & tired” of hurting myself & staying in that relationship.

It took so much strength that I had to find within me & my faith in God. I prayed every night for strength to continue on. I felt so trapped. And here I am. Tejal, shining bright. Using her voice to tell her testimony to remind you all that YOU CAN OVERCOME. I believe in you! Understand that it will take time to heal. You must put the work in for YOU because at the end of the day, this is for YOU. Leaving a domestic violence situation is never easy but know you have support even if you feel alone. Trust, I felt so alone especially because I hardly have family that are not toxic.

So if you feel alone, please contact your local precinct or the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224. Please know, you are important, loved & not alone. I use to think this only happened to me until I met a woman in Graduate school who also went through the same as I did, as a domestic violence survivor. My nurse at my clinic also disclosed that she too, was/is a domestic violence survivor. As I began to speak up & tell my story,  I no longer felt alone.

Today I stand before you as Tejal, a recent graduate with my Masters Degree in Social Work from Rutgers University, graduating class of 2018. Living & breathing in peace. and No longer living in chaos, as well as,  loving myself so much harder each every day than ever before.

Love & Light to you all, beautiful souls

XOXO.

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“Leaving a domestic violence relationship is never easy but know you have support, even if you feel alone… You are important & loved” – Tejal Parekh

Ephesians 4:29

No EvilWelcome to another self-love Sunday, Conglomerate. I appreciate you joining me another week to kick off your week on a positive note. This week I want to address a topic I am certain has effected more than a handful of us. Most of my life, specifically during my adolescence, I had to deal with people dictating the outcome of what my life was going to be. Whether I disagreed with a directive or expressed myself in a way they did not agree with; they would often tell me I would not amount to anything. I was often reminded that instead of making a difference in the world I would be a pregnant teenager (as if that is a death sentence) or end up in jail. Granted, I was not always the most friendly but I was far from malicious. I would be the first to admit that I was DEFIANT & I gave the same respect that I felt was given to me. If I felt disrespected or threatened, I would talk back, defend myself, & seek to humiliate who I believed to be my aggressor. As adolescent teenagers, for some of us, behavior like I had is all apart of the process of growing up & falling into your role in life. The growth process takes on many facets even if it is not the most glamorous. So for the life of me, I can not figure out how my adolescent behavior warranted such definite assumptions of who I was destined to be; a girl whose life will be short-lived because she would “shamefully” end up pregnant or in jail.

Now that I am an adult who has turned out to be everything they never believed I would be; I recognize that people tag negative expectations on the lives of others based on their own standards of living. In my evolution, I have learned that people prefer to influence through negative affirmations instead of the opposite. They would rather remind you of all the things you have done wrong instead of pointing out the things you have done right. They rather point out characteristics they find less appealing instead of pointing out the beauty in them & they prefer to attack your self-esteem by pointing out your flaws instead of teaching you how to use them in your favor. So today, I want to express the importance of speaking power into people, especially our young people. Collectively, we need to help others realize their worth by speaking positive affirmations over their lives; despite what physical & mental state they are in. People are not always resilient to negativity & if exposed to it enough, they can easily believe it. I reflect often on the things that were said to me & I cringe at the possible effects people’s negative statements could have had on me. I am grateful today that I did not believe what they believed I would be.

Let us not be like those people; the same people who hate something so much in themselves that they would rather impose it on someone else instead of uplift them. As we get older, time changes & our roles in life shift, let us not forget that life is a process of growth. Though we should encourage maximizing one’s potential, we should never encourage someone to reach & settle at their highest potential as it enforces limitations on them that require them to stop evolving, learning & being. That being said, let us not dictate someone’s potential because that gives the message that someone can never be more than what we said they can be. Let us speak light where there is darkness & life where there is none. Let us not contribute to breaking down someone else’s character & forgetting to look at our own flaws. In the same way we look in the mirror & speak life changing affirmations on our lives, we must do the same for others. Never be a part of the reason that someone believed they were not good enough. Someone will always remember you for being the one person who believed in them in contrast to the many that did not. Kind gestures & words reap so many more benefits to the world than those that hurt. Make the difference. Be kind.

Kindness is free, sprinkle that sh*t everywhere.  

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Ephesians 4:29- Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (NIV).

Give, Give, Give Relationships Are OUT!

Give & TakeAs women who maintain & juggle different relationships throughout our lives, our natural instinct is to nurture & invest in the relationships we build with others. To be nurturing is one of the many things that makes us so special. This ability allows us to be amazing mothers, friends & spouses. This quality in us ensures that the people we care for are taken care of. Often, what we take for granted is, with the ability to be nurturing to others comes great sacrifice; even if initially we view our sacrifice as an investment. Our natural instinct is to pour whole heartedly into our relationships because we water & feed what we want to grow. But unfortunately, pouring too much, too often, too soon can result in unreciprocated action & a drain in emotions. 

There is so much pressure to prove ourselves worthy in our romantic relationships that we try carrying the weight of two worlds on our shoulders. Aside from just being a good woman who provides advice, motivation & support, we move in ways, whether intentional or not, that ensures we are unforgettable, reliable, consistent & better than the last. Eventually, in doing this, we spread ourselves too thin without the slightest idea that the person is worth it. We get tired when 6 months has passed & we have no more to give because in our gestures of affection we have created leeches. Today, I write this knowing that I AM GUILTY of this. I know many others much like myself who invest entirely too much, too quickly. We give people all the benefits of having a spouse, many times without even the slightest effort or promise of a long-term commitment. At this point in my life, I have come to the realization that holding back a little is a sure way to still put myself & my needs first. I can still be transparent while establishing clear boundaries in regards to what a person should or should not receive from me. From experience, I have learned that everyone is not worth the sacrifice & all relationships do not warrant the same level of commitment whether it is romantic or not. I have played roles of “step-mommy”, bail bondsman & Uber driver far too many times to count without the slightest “thank you”. Roles I have taken on became expected of me, so “thank you” & “I appreciate you” became obsolete. So instead of “courting” me, I courted them. That is a problem.

Society has stigmatized the foundation of solid two-way relationships so much that unfortunately, we provide benefits in a shorter amount of time to love interest than we do with friendships that have been established years before. Granted, the elements of the relationship may differ a bit but in safeguarding ourselves we make sure our friends are trustworthy before we begin to disclose or establish a true bond. We need to use that same momentum with those we are interested in romantically. There needs to be a paced, two-way street where both parties in the relationship give & receive. The dating process is just what it is; dating. Dating does not obligate us to do anything more than have a good time & enjoying each other’s company. The whole, “proving ourselves worthy far too early in advance”, mentality is over today. Building foundational relationships happen two-ways, always. What we teach people early on becomes the standard for the rest of our relationships. Mastering the ability to give in moderation & as warranted allows us to further recognize our self-worth & gives us less pieces of ourselves to pick up, if by chance things do not work out. It is an easy to fix to a constant behavior & one of the biggest gestures of self care that we could ever give ourselves. After all, loving ourselves first should always be first.

Until next time conglomerates, keep living your best life, the best way you know how.

 

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Check On Your People

RoseGood morning conglomerates! Happy Sunday! Today I want to touch base on a topic I have been wanting to discuss for a few months now but I was unsure how to approach the topic. Today, I decided the message has to get to someone & awareness needs to be spread. A few years ago, beloved actor/comedian Robin Williams committed suicide. On June 5, 2018, fashion designer Kate Spade did so as well. A few days later, a 61 year old celebrity ended his life prematurely. Although not new, the revelation that celebrities are commiting suicide has taken social media by storm. Suicide is not a new pandemic but in a society like the one we live in, it is treated like a taboo. Suicide is a topic that is not discussed or remembered unless it is committed by a figure in the public eye.

Today, I want to remind you that suicide is VERY real. It is not a situation that only occurs to people we do not know or on television. Sadly, suicide can hit really close to home; even if we do not know it. The thought to commit suicide plagues the lives of people often. A few months ago, I wrote a memoir reminding you all to Nurture Your Mental Health.  I expressed the importance of not being ashamed to speak up when you are not feeling like yourself or if assistance is needed. I encouraged you to ignore the judgemental statements of those who contribute to the ignorance of society.  I asked that you mindfully & gently put the care of yourself & your loved ones first. I reminded you not to be ashamed of your mental health status & to remember that despite how you feel or your diagnosis that you are “normal“. Sadly, people’s mental state has led them to  pursue a definite & irreversible fate, if accomplished. It is heart wrenching that the only way people feel they can pursue peace is by making such a final decision that does not allow them to keep living.

To give you an idea:

  • Nationally, 44,193 reported suicides
  • Rate 121.1/day
  • 33,984 of all male deaths were by suicide
  • 10,199 all female deaths were by suicide
  • A person has committed suicide every 11.9 minutes
  • For every one suicide, there have been 25 attempted suicides
  • Though men are 3.5 more likely to successfully commit suicide than women, women attempt 3 times more than their male counterparts

So to fullfill our moto & live our best lives we have to understand that living our best lives does not only apply to our own personal lives but to the lives of our loved ones. Today, I ask that a group effort is made to actively check in on one another. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives that we forget that people are fighting internal battles that they may not express to us. What we may see as outlashing or withdraw may actually be a cry for assistance. Often, those who are suicidal feel they are a burden in the lives of others & fail to reach out on their own. Therefore, we can save them, what seems to us as a a small step, & reach out to them instead. Many times we allow our pride to get in the way. We write a person off as “attention seeking” or selfish when we do not hear from them. We never stop to think that maybe their struggle has nothing to do with us but everything to do with their inability to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Though we have not all had suicidal ideation; we have all had periods when we have felt alone, unloved & unwanted. So gently checking on them can save us alot of heartache in the future & get them the help that they need in the long run.

Though the signs may not always be evident. Certain indicators can alert us that an individual is in acute danger & may urgently need help.

  • Talks about wanting to die or kill themselves
  • Expresses feelings of hopelessness or having no purpose
  • Expresses feeling trapped or being unbearable pain
  • Concerned they are a burden to others
  • Increase in substance use (alcohol & drugs)
  • Anxious, agitated or reckless behavior
  • Little or too much sleep
  • Withdrawing & feeling isolated
  • Exhibiting rage or expresses a need to seek revenge
  • Displaying extreme mood swings.

With that being said, make a conscious decision to “drop a line” to someone you have not heard from in a while or you feel may be acting differently. Though their behavior may effect you negatively or you simply may be overwhelmed with your own life; some people have a harder time doing stepping away from their misery. Although they may not thank you now, I have no doubt that they will thank you later. You never know how your small gestures can help someone finally see the light they are so desperate to see. Calling in & acknowledging we are thinking of them can be the first step to the intervention they desperately need. For this purpose, I will ensure to include resources at the bottom of this memoir if you feel they can help save someone’s life.

Now, if you are the person who I am referring to in this memoir & you feel that there is no way out of your predicament; I want to assure you that you can get through it. Though you may not feel like it, the world will be a very different place if you were not here living in it. Your life is valuable. You are not a burden & there are people on this Earth that love you & will miss you desperately if you were gone. Your story & your life matters. Despite feeling how you feel, you are worthy of happiness. Unfortunately, joy & pain are realities of life so please try to understand that your pain & sadness will come to an end. Even if it feels like it, it will not last forever. You are a SURVIVOR & capable of so much more than you think. Seek help. There are people who are trained to care for you & provide treatment that is made specifically for you. Please do not give up. Do not be ashamed. You deserve everything you want for yourself & more. YOU ARE WORTH IT! Please refer to the resources I have included below. There is someone that will be more than willing to help you.  To remind you that your life is worth living, I have included the story of a suicide survivor who describes feeling much like you do at the lowest point of his life. Use it to remind yourself that you are not alone.

Kevin Hines, Suicide Survivor

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Please be advised, if assistance is needed you can receive initial assistance from your primary care provider. If there is an urgent situation, calling 9-1-1 can assist you with getting what you need immediately. Also, other resources to assist are listed below. Please feel free to reach out to them for assistance.

SAMHSA Treatment Referral Helpline, 1‑877‑SAMHSA7 (1‑877‑726‑4727)

Get general information on mental health and locate treatment services in your area. Speak to a live person, Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. EST.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1‑800‑273‑TALK (8255) or Live Online Chat

If you or someone you know is suicidal or in emotional distress, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.Trained crisis workers are available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your confidential and toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in the Lifeline national network. These centers provide crisis counseling and mental health referrals.

I know many of my subscribers are located in NJ. I have also included resources that are available in the South Jersey area.

NJ Hopeline Call Center 1-855-654-6734

Camden County Screening Center 1-856-428-4357

Gloucester County Screening Center 1-856-845-9100

Second Floor Youth Helpline 1-888-222-2228

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Image obtained from: https://www.owlcube.com/products/beauty-and-the-beast-rose-easy-3d-diy-diamond-painting-kits-owlcube-canvas-wall-art?variant=52901646724

Statistics: Foundation For Suicide Prevention: More Than Sad

Daddy’s Little Girl

Father’s Day is today & I will be honest enough to tell you that until recently I really did not know how to celebrate Father’s Day. Aside from buying my mother a card & a small gift or wishing my uncles a Happy Father’s Day; I never thought much more about the day because it never has had much significance in my life.

As you have read in my memoirs, Accepting Failure & The Best Side of Me , I was raised by a single mother who for a good while posed the role of “dad” in my life. I cannot tell you what it is like to have my biological father love me, love into me, protect me or be an example of the kind of man I should marry. Though in the past I have tried to, I have failed to recognize if any of his features look back at me when I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Even if it was possible, I would not even know what feature of his to compare it to because his face is not a face I have seen in my lifetime. But even in his absence certain things are very clear to me. Though I cannot visualize a face to his name, he has given me a clear visual of the type of man I would not want to be the father of my children or the kind of man I will not raise my son to be. Though in the past it often left me feeling unwanted; I am totally ok with his absence. Because if I told you what my heart feels you would understand my lack of curiosity.

Despite not having a father in my life, I do know what it is like to be loved by someone who did not have a hand in physically creating me but has had a significant impact on the person I am today. I know what it is to be reprimanded through love & given advice by someone who looked at me (though not his) as a little girl who was worth it. I know what it is to have someone remind me every day that blood is not always thicker & love means more than any last name I could be given. I also know that it takes a special person to look at me, regardless of the times I have attempted to throw him away & still claim me as his.

Even if he is not my biological father you can not tell me he is not my dad. As an adult I can reflect on the lessons he has taught me. It is because of him I am honest. He taught me that I must be accountable for what I say. I know it is because of him I am a realist because all things are not always just black & white. He taught me how to throw my first punch & he was on my side when I finally told Mom that I no longer wanted to wear cartoon characters on my clothes (she was crushed). Even as I transitioned through my life the lessons have never stopped coming.

Up until May 2017, my mother & him have not seen each other in over 15 years. Yet, somehow, he & I have maintained our relationship. A relationship that truly grows stronger as I get older. I am older now & do not take for granted how blessed my life has been with his presence. It was not until I turned 25 that I started to call him dad & that is the only sure way I can tell him I love him just as much as he loves me.

I struggled growing up without a biological father. I was hurt that my family did not look like others & I was bruised because I could not understand why my biological father did not want me. I learned really early on though, that it had nothing to do with me but everything to do with him & his inability to accept himself which in turn made him unable to accept me. In his absence though, I have learned the most valuable lesson I could ever learn all my life. Take heed to this lesson as it will save you from blaming yourself from the things you cannot control. This alone will remind you that you are worth more than what someone else may have overlooked. You cannot change the minds of the people who choose not to stay. In turn, you should always value the people who have chosen to stay even when you have made it hard for them. I learned to be grateful for the people God has removed from my life because I can only imagine what I have been protected from. I believe God removes people & places people in your life because he knows the impact their energy can have on you. I promise I thank God often for placing a “stranger” in my life when I was two & making him one of my very best friends at twenty-nine. Life is all about experiences that mold you. What others see as a sad story is actually a success story for me. There are not many people who are as “rich” as I am. Despite the odds they said were against me, it is so lit to have someone who has invested in me so much that even my mom cringes from the similarities (lol). I have been blessed beyond compare & I thank him so much for choosing me. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

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Image: https://www.stfinnbarr.org/apps/news/article/684582

Sacrifices Are Necessary

Good morning Conglomerates!! Special thank you goes out to you for joining me another week. The constant feedback & support has surely kept me motivated to continue on this Nickkie&Co. venture so- THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

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Today, I feel a discussion on making sacrifices is a necessary discussion to have because sacrifices make final goals that seem out of reach feasible. We all do it, no matter how big or small it is; we do. If you are a parent or guardian of another human being you most certainly do. Regardless of how small or large your sacrifice; I am here to tell you, it will be worth it. Society treats sacrifice as a form of deprivation. Nickkie&Co. on the other hand recognizes that a sacrifice is a promise you have made to yourself in order to reach a final goal that allows you to be your best self while living your best life.

For as long as I could remember, I have made sacrifices in order to afford myself opportunities that I may not have if I did not make the sacrifices I did. My whole college career was based on the promises a sacrifice has afforded me. Despite how trying the sacrifice has been, I have always attempted to keep my eyes on whatever the final goal was; the prize. Even now, temporary sacrifices are still evident in my life in hopes that in the long run it will be worth it. Aside from reaping the rewards sacrifices have afforded me; I am sure to keep in mind, especially as I write this memoir, that patience is key. I have learned first hand that sometimes moving too quickly & forgetting what you did it for will have you forgetting the whole purpose; the promise you made to yourself.

So today Conglomerate, I want to remind you to stay focused on your goals & be mindful of your sacrifices. Regardless of how big or small they might be they make your overall goal obtainable. Sacrifices are TEMPORARY & I can not stress the importance of not giving up to you enough. We make sacrifices everyday, whether it is a weight loss challenge, a financial challenge or professional challenge; the lingering lesson in it all is that your patience is the key to crossing the finish line.

I can relate to the disheartening feeling that visits when the reward does not even appear to be peaking over the horizon. I can also vouch for feeling discouraged when progress is compared to the progress of someone else. It kills your momentum & it crushes your self esteem. Do not allow it. Do not compare yourself to the success, progress or advancement of other people because their journey is not relevant to your journey. Your story is not their story & their story is not yours. The paths laid out for your lives are different & you must make due with what you have. The irony in this is someone is looking at you doing the same thing; wondering how you have it all together even though you know the opposite. So do things your way, at your pace; the best way you know how. I understand it gets frustrating. I also understand that at times, in the process of living through our sacrifices that mistakes are made; that is totally ok. The idea is to pick up where you left off. No one said you had to be perfect, you just cannot give up. You owe yourself everything you are striving for & you are more than deserving.

Ok, you need to sacrifice a little financially so you can become a homeowner? Do it. Think about the equity you build for yourself instead of the equity you build for someone else; all because you chose to make a sacrifice. Tempted to eat something you feel you shouldn’t so that you can lose that final 5 pounds? Do not do it. Imagine how accomplished you will feel when you finally reach your goal. Life is all about taking little steps to get to the destination. It is a struggle now but once you arrive the sacrifice does not seem as painful.

All the goals you set for yourself are attainable you just have to believe they are. You have to trust yourself to do right by yourself because YOU conglomerate are capable & worthy! Do not get discouraged. Keep making the sacrifices, you will cross the finish line before you know it. Once those goals are slayed you open up the opportunity to create new sacrifices & new goals to make your life more than what you want it to be. You were not created to be stagnant or mediocre & you surely were not created to not believe in yourself. The world is yours. Act like it.

XO.

Image obtained from: http://www.cambridge.elim.org.nz/sermon/love-sacrifice-part2/