It Begins With A Positive Statement.

Today is a blessing.

I am stronger than any & every obstacle.

I will handle all obstacles with precision.

I am purpose FULL.

I change lives with every encounter; for I am light.

I am strong.

I matter.

I have been created to speak with dominion on this earth.

Anything I dream will manifest into reality.

I may not always feel my best, but a negative thought will not leave my lips.

I speak positivity so that I can receive it.

I am what I put out into the world & it is beautiful.

My errors do not define me.

I am success.

I attract success.

My relationships (romantic & platonic) are healthy.

I am an artist. Brilliant ideas are created in me.

I am a magnet for prosperity.

I will recoup & double any financials I may have lost.

My voice matters.

My faith moves mountains.

I am a well of hope for those who feel hopeless.

I am a powerhouse; I am indestructible.

Difficult times are temporary but the skills I gain during these times are eternal.

Illness will not touch me or my home.

I will not succumb to the battle of the mind in these times.

I move in confidence. I am confidence.

I am at peace.

I am free of worry & regret.

I am stronger than anxiety.

I will push all depressing thoughts out of mind; for they do not belong here.

I accept that I have not missed anything that was not for me.

I forgive myself for counting myself out when I shouldn’t have.

I deserve, have & will continue to have – abundant joy.

I will be an inspiration to many; even if they do not tell me.

I will be in a place that allows me to bless those as I have been blessed.

I am wise.

What I say is valuable.

I am loved.

I am love.

I share love.

I trust my instincts to care for myself.

I honor my own boundaries & set them for others.

I deserve the best me I can offer myself.

I am optimistic of what I will gain out of this life.

It is just beginning.

Peace in Quarantine.

Happy Sunday Beauts!!!

What can I say? It’s been a hectic few weeks with all the negative effects associated with the Corona virus & the sudden, yet mandatory, need to be socially distant. Despite the unfortunate circumstances surrounding this pandemic; in this time, I have become acutely aware of the blessing in being still, spending time with family & being home. 

This quarantine has given me the ability to put the rest of the world on pause & hit the play button on what was most important– ME. Gratefully, this quarantine, although not always regarded to fondly, has turned off all the noise. It has brought a new & welcomed silence that has allowed me to reflect on my own behavior, my need for constant healing, our ability to be resilient & the wonders of God –even in all the chaos.

You see, this chaos is different, though. This chaos is fueled with fear & uncertainty. It is not the chaos we have grown accustom to. You know, the chaos that requires constant movement, over exertion, limited time for our families, limitations on our ability to self reflect & spiritually align ourselves. Right now, we are not required to run off limited energy. Instead we are required to remember what it is like to go back to the basics so that we can exude gratitude when things are back in motion.

I am not oblivious to how difficult this virus & quarantine has made people’s lives. I also understand that people will need time to recover financially, physically & emotionally. However, I am not blind to the opportunities this has afforded us & the overwhelming peace I have in knowing that God is with us in this; as he promised.

I pray that in this you are able to reflect on what this quarantine means to you & that you use this opportunity to better yourself through rest, peace & love. Because as I always say — this time is no different– all things made to derail you will be flipped for your glory.

Psalm 91:10-11

Caring Through Corona

As we all know, things have been specifically special this week with the rambunctious spread of the COVID-19 virus. Although I understand the seriousness of the virus & the importance of following the necessary precautions; this outbreak has given me disappointing realization over things rather quickly.

1. People’s fear outweighs any ability to rationalize. Faith is almost non-existent at this time.

2. People are mean & self preserving with very little regard for others.

It saddens me. As human beings we would like to believe that despite how effed up things may be; we are inherently good people. Whatever our past experiences entail or what pandemic or outbreak that occurs, we want to believe that the best versions of ourselves will shine through- always. However, that may be the case for some people, but definitely not the standard right now.

In this chaos, we stopped dealing with each other in love & have been functioning simply for ourselves & our immediate families. This is evident when going to our local supermarket & chain stores. The shelves are empty. But not because they didn’t properly equip themselves but because individuals have bulked supplied their homes with little regard to leave things for others. This is a clear misunderstanding of how our faith should function. Yes, we should prepare ourselves & follow precautions but we should know that we will come out of this unscathed. That all things do work in our benefit & that God has had us & still has us through this.

I ask you to think of yourself & think of others not just now but always. We can accomplish so many other things working together & looking out for each other. We do not have to limit resources to ensure survival. This is the time that we should open our hearts to show what love is when people have forgotten.

Show your faith. Shine your light. Share your love.

My Sister’s Keeper

Happy International Women’s Day!!! Any day to celebrate women is something worth shaking my tail feather for (lol). However, a day specifically set aside to celebrate the advancements of women gives me a feeling of triumph. It forces the world to keep “US” in mind. It forces them to remember that as an oppressed demographic; we still get it done regardless of what legislation or parties in place to tells us. We have shown the world that together we are a force. We stand firm & we are proud. However, this celebration is not for one day. This celebration is everyday. We should be proud of what we have done as a unit – EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Because the advancement of one is an accomplishment for us all.

I urge you today & every day to keep this in mind. The advancements we have made in history; coupled with our own individual achievements should give us the fuel to exude pride; always. They have made us who we are as women & made us even stronger united. Your sister’s story is your story & your story is hers. From one sister to another. From one friend to a friend; one mother to another & one daughter to a daughter. We are our sister’s keeper. Her sorrow is ours. Her joy is ours too. Her hopes & desires are rooted in us.

We are united.

Shut Up…

This will likely be the most frank memoir I have written since I started Nickkie&Co. However so, it needs to be said. Sometimes we find ourselves in unideal situations because we talk too much! We find our motivations, goals & accomplishments under attack because we do not believe in moving in silence. With social media being a constant outlet for many of us, we subject ourselves to the negative energy & the attention of the wrong individuals. The most valuable lesson I have learned is that although my intentions are genuine- everyone does not have the same heart as I do. With that said, it is ok to not give front row seats to the live action film of your life. Everyone does not deserve the play-by-play. Instead, tread through your journey with close ones & share the testimony when you get there.

When we are not conscious of what we put out for the world to see; we make our lives, families & loved ones the target to the envious intent of other people. Though we should not live in fear & should be able to express when we are proud; the journey is NOT for everyone to witness. We can move silently & be humble. We can be private & effective. We can be proud & be deliberate. We can continue to strive for more & remain humble.

Be selective. Be conscious. Use discernment. Be quiet.

Inspire A Thankful Heart

Today, I woke up in such a grateful state of mind; it is refreshing. The past couple weeks have been quite difficult for me professionally & spiritually. However, I am amazed at my ability to not allow what is going on around me to warp my perspective. I look at my life & am eternally grateful for how far I have come despite the challenges- my health, the love that surrounds me & all the opportunities that encourage me to be a better person.

Circumstances can easily make us forget the grace & favor placed on our lives. Because of that, it is amazing that the realization of how protected I am hits me harder as I get older. Of course times get difficult & I find myself in less than ideal situations but I am breathing & still have the ability to love & be loved. My heart tells me that nothing I am facing now will last forever & that alone is something to be appreciative about.

So today, my goal is to encourage you to think of 3 things you are thankful for. If you can change your perspective even for a brief moment & pin point the specific things that make your life whole this memoir has done it’s job. I challenge you to do this every day. Every day write down or mentally note 3 different things that fill you with gratitude & keep it at the forefront of your mind as you navigate through the day. Eventually, the chaos going on around you will seem insignificant in comparison to the things that give you joy- genuine, unprecedented joy.

I want that for you. I want it for us. Go get it.

Narrate Your Own Life

We give people too much mandate over our lives. We act as if what they say truly determines the outcome of our lives. We give people too much credit- we treat their opinions as if they are a true testament of our character; as if their positive or negative experiences put the final stamp on who we are destined to be. That can not be further than the truth.

In my spiritual pursuit I learned something extremely valuable; it has already been written. Our lives have been envisioned before we even came to be. However, we have the ability to make choices. No man can influence the overall outcome of our lives by the negativity they try to sprinkle over our magic. Knowing this; move accordingly. Walk in purpose, pursue your passion & claim your destiny. You have the final say over what your life turns out to be & the footprint you leave behind on this earth- no one else.

I have experienced this first hand from those I loved & those I have cared little about. But they all had the same affirmation- I would not amount to be the very person I am today. They decided that what they had to say about my life carried more weight than what I wanted for my life. They were wrong. Yes, I have made mistakes. Yes, I was not always the best representation of myself. But when I decided that I was going to lead a life I would be proud of- I did just that. Their opinions, their negative affirmations held no weight & as I continue to pursue this life of mine, their words still lack substance. What matters is that I know it has been written & what has been written will not change.

You are the true narrator of your life everyone else; bystanders.

Oh, Sis… You Betta

Women are capable of many things. We bare children, we keep up with our homes, our families, careers & our social lives. We we wake up everyday, throw on our capes & start the day without skipping a beat. We continue our day with a tenacious “I got to do, what I go to do” without even a second thought. However, if there is anything I believe we fail miserably at is our ability to accept compliments.

Give a woman a compliment & she does not know how to receive it. If she isn’t skeptical, she has a story or a negating comment behind every “thank you”. Somewhere in our conditioning, we have decided that despite what we do, compliments are not ours to keep. That ends today.

We have been conditioned to take the negative before we can ever accept the positive. We work hard. Yet, somehow someone noticing that we do, that we look nice, that we are enough; is not warranted. Honey, you are worth every compliment & more. Start receiving & accepting with a bright smile & a confident “thank you”. Becausd what they say, does not even begin to scratch the surface of how amazing you truly are. You are capable of many things – let tooting your horn be one of them.

Survive Through Bitterness.

Let me tell you.

I have had my share of unfair relationships. You know, the ones that require you to put more in than you get out, where you are the lover & the best friend, the confidant, the unbiased advisor & genuine supporter. The relationship that drains you until the person you were before the relationship is almost unrecognizable. I been there more times than I would like. However, because of these experiences my perspective has changed significantly.

With each time I had to build myself up after a relationship, I did so begrudgingly. My pain came with a cost & I waited until the moment those who hurt me came to grovel back so that they can feel a small fraction of the pain they caused me. I allowed them to have too much power over my pain & what I did with it. I allowed myself to become bitter instead of taking the lesson for what it really was; a lesson. In some weird way I thank them, now. If it were not for what they have done & the grace of God; I would not understand that all things that have been placed against me – painful or harmful – will be flipped for my gain, my win & my favor.

Now I encourage you to to do the same. Reclaim your power. Do not bow your head down in shame or resentment. Look at these hurtful experiences as opportunities to grow; to be a better version of you for you. No one deserves the credit of what you become. No one deserves your happiness. With each one of these experiences, a part of you chips away but not forever. It hurts badly, but it is up to you to make it work for your benefit. It is your life to claim; make all the moments count.

It will get better.

2019 Can Keep My Depression

Hello Babes!!! Happy New Year!! It is only 5 days into the New Year & I am extremely eager to see what the rest of 2020 has to offer (despite how cliche’ that may sound). Because these past 5 days are a complete turn around from what the last 6 months of 2019 showed me. The truth is, I spent that last 6 months of 2019 anxious & depressed. Both feelings I promised I would not allow myself to succumb to ever again. I struggled severely with keeping my feelings under control & not letting the heavy burden of depression take me out. I look back today, still fighting my own battles grateful that I was able to recognize the signs & act on them before this battle became significantly harder for me to win.

I lost the desire to live. I sacrificed the philanthropic missions of my brand, I stopped praying, struggled to read & meditate on the word, go to church, failed to engage with my loved ones, avoided social gatherings, stopped going to the gym, did not eat, did not want to write memoirs & lost the desire to do all the things I loved. It felt like the internal battle that told me to “give in” & the other that told me “not to give up” was going to take me out one way or another. Because it is so much easier to give into negativity than to keep fighting when the positive seems so far away. It was in that moment that I realized that I needed reinforcements.

Reinforcement that did not include bogging my friends down in my sorrow. Because although they are supportive, I was fearful to dump the extent of my issues on them. So I sought help. I reached out to a spiritual, African American therapist who understood my desire to be replanted spiritually & who helped me manage my anxiety & attack my depression with strategies. With her encouragement & my tenacious desire to see the end of this, I have progressed significantly. I also became apart of the mentorship program at church- which helped me continue to stay rooted spiritually & reminded me that God did not leave me but is instead walking right along side me.

Although I still have a way to go, I will not take from the fact that I am significantly further in my walk than I was when I first started it 7 months ago. I laugh now, I am reading again, driven & motivated to see tasks through & my schedule has been booked with social gatherings with the people I love. I made it; I am making it & I pray that you see my testimony as a means to see that you can make it too. Depression is not your friend & it is not something you should get use to living with. Do not be ashamed to seek help. We get use to coping with our trauma & experiences a certain way that we do not understand when those coping mechanisms do not work anymore. Sometimes we need to be able to just dump that on someone trained & skilled to help us master new ways to cope. As we get older we need to be able to find new ways to survive.

Do not be ashamed. My proudest moment in all my life is that I was able to recognize when enough was enough & seek help. I fought for my life back & although some days may be difficult I do not accept that those difficult moments are more than just that – moments. Do it for yourself. You will be grateful you did it in the end. Trust me.