Say It With Me…

I am a connoisseur of positive energy.

radiate a spirit of growth that encourages others.

I am focused & clear minded.

I have the power within me to make things happen for me & those I love.

My dreams & goals obey me.

Every wrong decision is a lesson learned.

My actions set me up for prosperity.

I am growth minded & results driven.

If an opportunity does not sit right with me,

I will use the word “No”.

I will be the best advocate for myself.

However, I will be surrounded by those who will advocate for me, as well.

I love what I do.

If I don’t,

I will pursue something I love to do.

My determination motivates me.

I am resourceful.

I am a vessel of resources & I will maximize them.

I am manifesting a full, abundant life.

I am free from stress & anxiety.

I will master the art of listening to my body & what she is telling me.

I will acknowledge her. I will respect her. I will nurture her.

I will not be crippled by fear.

But I will be motivated by possibility.

Opportunities are endless.

However, any opportunity that isn’t centered in love is not for me.

My life is amazing & it is because I made it that way.

I will enjoy this life.

This Week’s Formula…

I think today calls for some reminders to get through the week—

Literally, the start of each day, is a new beginning.

Every problem has a solution, even if it isn’t evident right away.

The world will not always understand your perspective, still stand by it.

Being misunderstood is about perspective; use it to your benefit.

Be compassionate. Compassion makes all the difference.

Give yourself grace. You will not execute perfectly; every time.

Love without conditions; do it freely.

Make sure what you say has substance. Your word is your bond. If you fail to deliver on that word, what else do you will have?

Money is nice but it should not be your sole interest. Seek peace.

Having emotions is not the problem; it’s how you express them.

Don’t stay in any situation that makes you uncomfortable.

Pick and choose your battles, but feel confident advocating for yourself.

Never allow discouragement to keep you from playing the game. The outcome will surprise you.

Be confident. However, be mindful- there is a fine line between confidence & arrogance.

Stop second guessing yourself. Trust your instinct.

Be ok jumping in the unknown. It’s going to all work out.

When negative thoughts surface in your mind; profess with your mouth the opposite.

Ask God to give you wisdom before making decisions & be patient. He will answer.

Be ok with feeling how you feel; use it to reflect.

Stop using horoscopes to predict how your day will go; YOU set the trajectory of the day.

You really are in charge of your destiny; do it one step at a time.

Make the best out of this week. You got this.

Intentional Lifetime Promises

Welcome to 2021! Many of us has just pushed through one of the most challenging years of our lives (collectively). Many of us have lost loved ones, income, assets, encouragement, faith…the list goes on. Many of us are dragging into 2021 exhausted & eager for a break. This year is the year many of us are looking to rebuild, reestablish & reimagine what is ours. However, before you do anything, make sure you do one thing before all else-

Pour into yourself & do it with intention.

After the year we just had, we spent much of our time surviving & helping others to do the same. But we cannot deny that we have come out of last year beat up & eager to bounce back from some of our less than ideal situations. Although, 2020 had its shining moments, that allowed us to see who GOD is; it was also unrelenting for many of us. So many facets of our lives that have been effected & are requiring us to lick our wounds while we re-adjust. So while we re-adjust, let’s stray away from unrealistic, short-lived, NY resolutions & make intentional promises to ourselves.

Let us look at the bigger picture. Where do we continue to sell ourselves short? Where have we failed to deliver for ourselves? When have we put the care & love of others, before ourselves? What steps are we willing to make to ensure that next year, we see ourselves the way we want to see ourselves? What are our hard-nos? Where have we sacrificed our boundaries? When have we accepted less than we deserve? Think about all of that & make your intentional promises. These are not promise anyone but promise for yourself. I You have heard it before, empty wells cannot pour into others. So with these promises, ensure that they fill you up abundantly that pouring into others only adds; not depletes.

Happy New Year, Loves & Happy 3rd Birthday to Nickkie & Co.

“What is the most important thing? To love yourself and the world. In that order.” -Yoko

Who’s Holding You Accountable?

Hello Ladies! Happy Sunday!

We often discuss the need to have supportive friends that encourage us & inspire us to strive forward. However, today I want to discuss the importance of having friends that hold you accountable, as well. Friends that are “supportive” & friends that hold you “accountable” are not always one in the same. However, it amazes me how often people have this misconstrued. We often think because a person is supportive that they are capable of holding us accountable. However, that is not true & it is important to evaluate what that means for you & your circle.

It is easy to have people in your corner that show you the various ways they support you. Though we always appreciate the ones that show up for various events, cheer us on when we are doing well, & encourage us when we are feeling low; it is different to have a friend that can look you in the face & say “listen, you’re effin up, tighten up”. An accountability partner should be someone who’s opinion you value, who truly has your best interest in mind & someone who is not afraid to hurt your feelings. Having someone who can hold you accountable is a blessing & is the secret weapon behind your road to success. The will naturally ensure that your performance in the various facets of your life (professionally, educationally, spiritually, culturally, financially, etc.) will improve. Not to mention, they will deliver faithfully when you fail to do so.

Their role is to push you out of your comfort zone.

So far out of your comfort zone that you have no choice but to get comfortable where you’re not comfortable.

Do not settle for lack luster accountability partners that are unable to hold you to a standard that will ensure your success. In fact, recognize the various streams of support in your network; if one of these essential secret weapons are not in your team I urge you to find one. I guarantee you, the trajectory of your goals will have a positive impact that would have been significantly more difficult for you to see on your own.

We spend so much time refusing to accept that anyone is able to be unproductive & inactive. However, we have to remember every boss has board they have to answer to. That board ensures that the boss is in line with the mission, purpose & vision of their organization. Find yourself a like-minded individual & get to work!

You will not be sorry. Trust me.

Faith Tank

Faith is the act of believing in the things that are unseen. As humans it is only normal for us to want evidence or fact to back up what we believe. However, some of the excitement in life is having the ability to believe in something that has not tangibly come to pass. It is about believing that something exists or will happen even when there is nothing that is telling us so. For instance, faith has allowed me to stand in the midst of my storms knowing I could get through it. It is how I know that God exists & is protecting me. Faith provides me comfort in knowing that before my last day comes, everything is going to be ok. The things I once stressed about would have already resolved itself & because of that I am at peace.

Faith has given me that peace.

Faith gives us something to look forward to; something to believe in. Because of how faith manifests itself in our lives we are able to live. Many of us get through life because of faith. We start off with dreams that we eventually strive for & we pursue action steps to get us to where we want to be. Taking these action steps is the first step in initiating faith because the truth is, none of us would work for something we did not believe would come to pass. So when we go to school, fill out job applications, have a job interview, send our children off to school or get in the car to go somewhere; we are activating the principles of faith in believing that it is going to all work out in our favor, that our children will be safe, & we will get to our own destinations safely.

I want you to keep this in mind in the eye of your storm. Because the good thing about storms, they never last forever. If you are working hard toward something, never forget that all races have a finish line & since you are the only person running the race of your life- it is inevitable that you will get there. Faith is the gasoline in your gas tank that keeps you moving forward. When you feel your tank going on “E”, you have to motivate yourself to keep the momentum. Do not give up! Sometimes life is about navigating through it with the blindfold on- trust yourself enough to do it.

Faith will get you there.

Strangers Add Value Too

Happy Sunday!!! I will be honest enough to tell you that there was almost no memoir for you today. Not because my heart was not in it but because I was out late spending some time with like-minded individuals that I just met yesterday. It was truly amazing. We talked about any & everything under the sun from relationships, finances, marriage, friendship, goals, aspirations, etc. However, I need you to see the important part in all this–

I just met these people yesterday!

Sometimes we spend so much time being anti-social or reserved that we do not realize that strangers can add something of value to our lives- a lesson, confirmation to what we know or to be a living example of something we believe or aspire to have happen for our own lives. If we stay secluded, avoid events where people we know are not attending or limit our circle to our immediate circle of friends we lose out on the opportunity of encounter. We gain something new from every interaction & yesterday further confirmed that for me. In talking, laughing & interacting with these individuals yesterday I am elated because not only was it a great time, it was further revelation that my friends & I are not crazy for the goals that we aspire to have. There were married couples, parents, students, career professionals all sitting in one place sharing point of views, dropping gems, being ourselves & giving me, a single career woman, who wants to one day be married, a glimpse into what my social life with my future spouse can very well look-like.

So today, I encourage you to socialize more with strangers. At events sit next to people you do not know & start talking to them. Do not limit your interactions to solely the people in your circle. Network, meet new people, encourage someone, be encouraged, have an unexpected time with unexpected good people -you will be surprised what you will get out of it. Some new encounters can evolve to forever bonds, guarantee a great time every time you link up or be an encounter that will stitch a lesson into your memory you will never forget.

Give it a try. It is worth it.

You Are Valid, As IS.

Too often we allow people (other than ourselves) & things to validate who we are, what we have to offer & what we are worth. Despite how much I do not want to admit it, the truth is, I am guilty of this too. We have allowed letter grades, yearly salaries, hourly wages, romantic & non-romantic relationships, negative interactions, employment, & material things to have too much weight on how we view ourselves & what we believe we can offer to the world. For forever, the world has told us what success looks like & that is one of the main reasons we are too hard on ourselves.

Success is what we define it as. It has nothing to do with monetary gain, the romantic or non-romantic relationships we maintained or how we advance professionally, because we all know– despite how well we appear to be doing in life– these things do not add true value to it. We can be doing well & still be disappointed in the person we see in the mirror. The more we allow the perspective of others to hold weight on our lives, the less value we see in ourselves & the worse we feel.

As someone who recently felt unworthy, I am here to tell you that you are more than worthy– YOU ARE PRICELESS. Your accomplishments or your possessions do not make who you are. Instead, it is the content of your character. If you are kind, how you make people feel when you have encounters with them, your positive perspective on life, how you treat people, etc. Because the truth is, when you are gone, these are the things that people will remember; not how much money you had in the bank or the nice car or home you had. So make a conscious effort- everyday- to ensure that you do not give so much rank to these things in your life. Instead just love yourself the way you are. YOU as you are, is the only thing that deserves any validation in your life.

Your Emotion, Your Voice

Anyone that knows me on a personal level can vouch for what I am about to say. I am an extremely emotional person. If you break down the façade of my “tough” exterior you will see that I am a big softy. I am extremely empathic & it leaves me vulnerable to feel significantly the pains & joys of other people. A quality that I hated so much about myself; that often made me feel insignificant or dismissed as invalid has now been embraced & accepted as a strong quality that contributes to who I am today.

Although early on society told me that being emotional is a weak characteristic, is only associated with irrational women & should be discarded; I have learned to disregard what I was conditioned to believe so long ago. Because being emotional has allowed me to make an impact for those who need it, be genuine when I receive good news & has propelled my professional career in ways I never would have imagined a year ago. The importance is in how we channel our emotions & that we use it for good. After all, being emotional or emotionally driven is different than being an irrational person. We currently live in a world that laughs in the face of emotions but encourages dysfunction. But because of our emotions, we are great mothers, amazing friends, nurturing to our spouses & efficient in our jobs.

Therefore, today, I want to tell you that what you feel matters. What & how you process what you feel matters. How you express what you feel matters & the fact that you feel matters, significantly. Do not allow the world to tell you this is unacceptable. Do not let them muffle it out. Your emotion is the flame that ignites your voice. It allows you to stand up for injustices when you see them, give words of encouragement when you recognize the need, whisper loving words to your children at night, hum sweet nothings to your spouse during intimate moments & allows you to advocate for yourself when you are told to stand back. To allow someone, anyone, to disregard what you feel, creates suffocation & dullness in multiple facets of your life where it is needed.

You Are Colorful.

Be Colorful.

Toot That Horn, Bae

In this empowerment age we have progressively gotten better at empowering others by sharing our testimonies, encouraging them to push forward & supporting their endeavors of success. However, we got so good at doing this for people (yay!) that we spend a lot of time waiting for people to do the same for us. But when they fail to do so, we end up feeling immensely disappointed & unsupported. Therefore, I am reminding you that it is totally ok to toot your own horn. Doing so does not diminish your humility instead, it empowers us to keep going even if no one acknowledges us.

The older I get, the more I realize that validation from anyone, regardless of how great it may make me feel, should not be needed. Sometimes we have to just keep sight of our vision & push forward. If I have learned one thing, people do not always agree or see the vision until it is put into fruition & reaps results. People are not known to walk by faith & to teach them can be harder than you intend it to. However, it is not your obligation to show them how. You simply owe it to yourself to keep living & keep striving. The people meant to support you will show up. Those who fail to, well… *shrug*

Imagine the degree of unhealthy relationships (sexual, professional, emotional) that could be dismissed if we stopped putting so much weight on what people say. I was a rebellious teenager. I often heard from other people the failures that my life would take— well, two masters degrees & a career later all that shenanigans does not matter. I thank the lord that I did not need anyone’s validation to define my abilities. Though I still struggle doing so, I have accepted that I can relish in my accomplishments before they happen, celebrate once they become a reality & share my testimony in a positive way. It is so hard to talk about ourselves in a positive light because we have been conditioned to do otherwise, however, it is our right to empower ourselves. Learn to accept & appreciate the encouragement from others when you receive it but understand that if it is not received, it is just apart of the process. The power is in what you believe.

After all, they did say, “empowered people, empower people“. They just never said we could not empower ourselves.