How Setting Goals Almost Killed Me

Happy Sunday Conglomerates! Today I would like to introduce you to another Guest Inspiration that has a story to tell, Candice Kelly. Candice is a radical rule-breaker on a mission to change the world through media. As a certified coach and the host of the Mental Cement podcast, she provides a no BS approach to personal development that cuts through the noise. Candice leverages the power of story to create visceral lasting transformation for her clients. Her signature program “How to Start a Badass Podcast” is a fast track to mastering new media and self confidence.   Feel free to reach out to Candice on Facebook @MentalCement.

 If you pick up any book on personal development, self-help or anything that’s trying to help you live a better life, the first thing they say that is you need to set goals. You have to be crystal clear about what you want and the type of life that you want to live, otherwise, you will never get there. I mean goal setting is taught in schools, how to set S.M.A.R.T goals. Often times the first thing we ask successful people is, what goals did you set and how did you reach them? I think that’s a great way to begin your journey. The problem is that man we are often never stop to question the purpose of the goal. 

I am a recovering over-achiever. In school I was the kid who would type 7 pages if the minimum was 5, just so the teacher would notice my hard work. My drug of choice was execution, I loved to get things done. But after getting straight A’s and looking the part of someone who “has it all together” a self-harm cry for help led me to months of therapy for anxiety and depression. I got all the trophies. I won all the medals. I was admired by my peers. Yet on the inside I never felt good enough. I felt like no amount of achievement could make me feel worthy of the praise I received. 

After tons of inner work, I came to understand that I had been placing myself in a lose-lose situation. If I failed to hit the bullseye’s I set for myself, it would confirm that I wasn’t good enough. If I did reach my goal, I would push the benchmark even further and delay my happiness and celebration until I got the new goal. It was an endless cycle. I kept trying to predict what “thing” would make me happy. Losing 10 lbs, making more money, gaining more publicity. But no external reward could fill the internal pain I was causing myself. 

So, I decided to do a little experiment on myself. I decided to stop setting outcome goals altogether. Instead, I would complete a set of tasks every day and force myself to celebrate immediately after completing the task. I would channel how I wanted to feel when doing the task. For example, one task is moving my body in some way every day. After going on a walk or going to the gym I would take a nice bath or allow myself an hour of Netflix. What I found was that I ended up feeling happier, more energetic and more of myself after only a few days. Because I could reach my “goal” every day, it allowed me to bring my joy and celebration into the now instead of waiting until I hit some arbitrary target that society says is what I should aim for.

My challenge to you, dear reader, is to do some reflection and see if you are setting external goals in order to fulfill an internal need. If so, I invite you to consider adding one to three tasks to your daily routine that would move you towards your destination. Reward yourself immediately after completing your task and bring your joy into the present and see how much more you can accomplish without the goal.

…I decided to do a little experiment on myself. I decided to stop setting outcome goals altogether…

Empower Women

Although women are coming forward encouraging & advocating for themselves in ways that have not always been so prevelant before, it has always been important. For a long time, women have been an oppressed population. From employment opportunities, to policy changes put in place to hinder & dictate our actions – the oppressive intent is evident. As a result, we must be up in arms, always. At this point, if you hurt one, limit & restrict one; you have hurt, limit & restrict us all. Because women empowerment is more than empowering & encouraging women. It is about empathy, relation, understanding, encouragement & awareness, etc. Women empowerment is love. However, many times, the things that are occurring to us & around us encompass everything but the ability to empower women.

To get to the point that policy change happens based on the true necessities & demands of women, we can start small so that we can move bigger. We want better treatment but fail to exhibit better treatment amongst ourselves. Therefore, we can empower & encourage all women, whether we know them or not, consistently, with the intent to spread healing amongst other women. We walk by many women on a regular basis; however, we are more inclined to judge her before telling her she is bomb. We are less likely to empathize with a woman who is having a rough day without knowing her story first & we look at women individually instead of as a contribution to what they are to us as a group.

Each woman represents something for us individually & as a whole- the ability to grow, overcome adversity, create & maintain life (whether from their flesh or not), & the ability to survive & thrive. We need to begin to treat each other as valued treasure before we can expect anyone else to see us the same way. We need to stop comparing ourselves to other women to determine the traits we have that makes us a better woman. We need to look for opportunities to heal each other so we can sustain each other. Women fight many battles but it should never be a battle that we are fighting amongst ourselves. Regardless of the story of the person who receives these messages, it is important that we remind them in various & creative ways that we all are loved, capable & not alone.

March For Endo

Welcome back Conglomerates,

Happy mid-week check-in. Pardon my impromptu post that is outside of the typical Sunday schedule. Almost a year ago, I had a courageous Guest Inspiration who stepped forward to talk about her journey battling a condition that MANY women battle with daily; ENDOMETRIOSIS. Being that March is Endometriosis Awareness Month, I felt it was most important to recirculate her memoir to share with women who missed it & may be experiencing the same thing. Therefore, please click the link below & read the memoir from my dear friend & Endo Warrior, Eugenia.

Endo Warrior

#WeWearYellowForGeenii

Beauty in Self-Patience

The logo for Nickkie&Co. is a butterfly woman who is slightly looking back at what she has come from. Who took the time to let life take it’s course in order to acquire her wings while moving forward to what appears to be a transition into more of her potential. To me, a butterfly is symbolic of the evolution we take as a women & as human-beings. Butterflies do not originally start as the bright, vibrant & beautiful creatures we recognize them as. They spend a large portion of their lives ugly, disgraced & undesirable only to later evolve into something mesmerizing to the human eye. You see, people see the beauty of the butterfly & forget… the butterfly was once a caterpillar & before that larva & before that an egg. Had it not been for the fine tuned patience of that very butterfly to persevere, evolve & invest in itself we would never see such a prepossessing miracle. See, had the butterfly not been naturally conditioned to relentlessly endow itself in its potential, we would be missing out on a wonder that is so symbolic of a woman’s beauty. Beauty that is enhanced when she takes the time to patiently invest in herself & her journey.

The life cycle of a butterfly can take up to a year for full evolution. However, it is steadfast & consistent in its process because the bigger picture (reward) is ahead of it. It’s patience is to be admired & its ability to be isolated (cocooned) for an extended period of time should be sought after & replicated. In the butterfly’s  patient isolation is when the magic happens. That is why today I urge you to be patient with yourself.

Embrace your journey & allow yourself to make mistakes. The scars you feel make you ugly, in fact, contribute to what makes you beautiful. Life is about maneuvering through our transitions with patience. We are not supposed have all the answers for everything – right away. It is a process of growth & investment. Too often we are so hard on ourselves by imposing standards that require us to move too fast & avoid the scenic route. Life does not have to be a hectic drive on a busy highway. We need to begin to relish in the experience as we keep our focus on the bigger picture. It is amazing what is noticed/taught when we take the time (a second) to stop & smell the flowers along the way.

Mommin’ Ain’t Easy

Welcome back another SUNDAY! Today I am honored to share with you Guest Inspiration, Taneesha. I have watched Taneesha raise her children with such love & precision that I appreciate her realistic description of motherhood & the sacrifices mothers make for their babies (you know all the stuff that people do not talk about- lol)! This memoir is laced with satire & sacrifice. If you’re a mother you will resonate with her testimony & if you are the child, this memoir will have you looking at your mother saying- “Thank you for loving me, regardless of how tired you have been.” So, let us welcome her with open arms & appreciate what she has depicted below. 

So there you are pregnant with your first child and super excited, yet nervous about every little thing. You keep up with all the mommy blogs, register for the best items on the market and pray you have it all figured out. Fast forward to birth and OUCH, not just the physical pain but also the mental. As a new mother, you have to heal from labor and figure out motherhood at the same time – not easy. This being your first baby, everyone wants to see the human you created and just like that… you don’t matter anymore. There’s no “hey, how are you doing?” it’s “where’s the baby?”, “how’s the baby?”, “”can I come see the baby?” scratch that, more so, “I’m coming to see the baby.” After a couple weeks, when all the hype dies down, it gets real. Your life consists of feeding, changing, comforting, repeat. But as soon as you get into the swing of things, behold! You have a crawler and soon after a walker. Mobile babies are ruthless! They want every little thing their little fingers can grab and don’t you dare try to stop them. Everything is going straight to their mouths too so you really have to watch them like a hawk.

Fast forward to running and talking toddlers. Chase that baby if you want to, they will cross you over as if they’re the greatest NBA player in the league. That little baby that you couldn’t wait to start talking, now talks and their favorite word is NO. “No mommy, no! I don’t want it, I can’t do it.” They’re so negative. Bedtime becomes your favorite part of the day. They have the nerve to be the cutest when they are sleeping; as if they didn’t run rampant in your home just hours before wreaking all kinds of havoc. You think you know what messy is, but a toddler will give you a whole new definition of the word. Now you’re at a crossroad— “do I clean this up or go watch my favorite night time drama?”, the latter always wins for me. You clean up just for the little rascal(s) to do the exact same thing, again. It’s never ending.

So they grow up a bit more and life is smooth sailing now. You got this mom thing down. It just all got easier. I suddenly didn’t have to get up in the middle of the night to get his sippy cup. The separation anxiety had stopped. Being able to take a nap while he watched his favorite cartoon was pretty awesome too. My son has always been a pretty easy going kid. Quiet like his mama, calm and cool. I get all the compliments about this one. People even offer to take him off our hands because he’s such a delight. Even though he’s not so high maintenance, mothering is still hard. I still worry and get frustrated like the best of them. I still get tired, but I have to carry on despite having worked a full day. We have extracurricular activities we have to attend to. School routines, ugh, as much as I love him getting away to learn, I hate it too. Having to get up and take him when I don’t have to be out the house sucks and homework…. [every cuss word that exists, insert here]…. most days I just CAN’T. I do, but I just can’t.

Then it comes… yup… that feeling that stupid feeling. The thought pops in, “I should have more.” Now, pause sis, really think long and hard about that. Remember breastfeeding and pumping, teething, diaper blowouts, all the outfit changes while potty training, how long it took him to sleep through the night, all of your sleepless nights. Remember? That is usually the revelation when some people say “nah, I’m good”, but silly ol’ me, disregarded what I knew and said “it’s ok, it’ll get better later, I’ve seen the light at the end of the tunnel. My child needs a sibling now!”

After having to convince my husband and making sure finances were good, baby number 2 became a reality instead of a dream. Labor was better, breastfeeding was better, I didn’t experience baby blues, I was more knowledgeable… the greatness stopped there. All those visitors I had the first time didn’t happen again, thank God though, they were annoying. Baby number 2 threw me for a complete loop. She was and still is a crybaby. A crying child will drive you completely insane, it’s draining. However, here I am with this beautiful child I hoped and prayed for— who was said to be hard to conceive but here we were and I was not happy. Luckily, I remained sane. She’s 2 now and still cries and whines, but not as much. I have mastered shutting it down now. Thankfully, I go to work and it’s my escape. As much as I complain about her I love her dearly. She’s my life size doll, dressing a girl is so much fun. She doesn’t like getting her hair done too often but I enjoy it when she does. I enjoyed our 19 month breastfeeding journey, surpassing my son’s 12 months. She’s funny and super smart. She walked at 8 months and you know the saying ‘they’re moving fast to get out of the way for the next’, well it was true. Three is coming and I have to go through the ups and downs all over again. But I will always remember and never forget, while it does get better, it ain’t easy.

Neesh
“I enjoyed our 19 month breastfeeding journey surpassing my son’s 2 months”
Taneesha has started a free prenatal & breastfeeding support group for mothers, “The Camden County Breastfeeding project- Sistahs Who Breastfeed”. Support services are provided in Pennsauken, Voorhees & Sicklerville & is opened to everyone. If you know anyone who is breastfeeding or are expecting, please share this resource. Please see their brochure below. Sessions start in March. 

The Power of Perspective

Today, it is important to speak on the concept of perspective & how having a positive outlook could be one of our most powerful superpowers. Studies have shown that those who work diligently to have a positive mindset thrive in areas of love, stress management, social interactions, work performance & life expectancy. It is the power of our outlook that determines how well we overcome the inevitable obstacles that may deter, disappoint or discourage us from our goals. However, it takes practice to use this power to its maximum ability. Regardless of how much I advocate for a positive perspective, I sometimes require reminders because, lord knows, it is a heck of alot easier to think the world is falling off its axis at the first sign of discomfort.

Well today, as I have said before & will continue to say time & time again, there is power in your mindset & a positive perspective can do more for your well-being than anything negative you may think, feel & manifest. When you think positive with a firm understanding that any & everything will work out in your favor; you have the potential to make mountains crumble in front of you. If you are not careful, a negative outlook can have you looking at some blessings like a curse & harping on situations because they could be better. A few years ago my uncle passed away from stage 4 cancer & although it hurt like hades to have him leave us, I coped with his passing better than I imagined. Why? Because it was one less day that he was suffering, one less day that he was tired, one less day that he had to cope with preparing to leave us & one sure day that he gave himself to God. Because of this, I know where he is & that I will see him again. Now, every time an anniversary of his approaches (sunrise & sunset) I do not wallow in sadness, instead, I rejoice that he found his way home & his life of torment is over. It is this perspective & this reversal of understanding that I try to practice in my day-to-day. I encourage you to do the same.

Life is so much more than being crippled by experiences that have the potential to take us out. We must not let them. It is all a cycle: what we think influences how we feel & how we feel influences what we attest out of our mouths; what we say out our mouths is heard by the unseen. Therefore, even when you feel it is all falling apart around you keeping a positive mindset is the key. The positive mindset, despite how you feel or your circumstance, is a testament to your faith.

Faith unwavered is a strength to be seen.

Be-YOU-Tiful

Society has conditioned us very early on to be content being everyone but ourselves. Our true selves. In one way or another media reminds us that who we are & who we want to be is not enough. Unless, of course, it fits their idea of perfection or success. In many direct & indirect ways, we are told how to dress, how to talk, who to love, how to love, what to like, what to dislike, what is important, what to dismiss & what we should do based on what society thinks is important. This has resulted in so many of us unsure of who we are, what we believe in & what we represent. Well today, I encourage you to start the journey in learning exactly who you are, what you stand for & what is important to you because despite what you are conditioned to believe –there is not one single person that is on this earth just like you. You were made special, as one of a kind, limited edition — that is the beauty that is you.

The most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed is a person who found true, genuine joy because they were willing to be rebellious for the sake of discovering themselves. They live in joy because they outgrew society’s standards & are living outside of such restrictions. So many of us are walking around with a mask that perpetrates us in a different way than who we really are. This is dangerous to our self-care because we are too busy living for the likes of someone else– so much so, that we forget who we are & dislike ourselves in the process. To be ourselves unapologetically is the best gift we could ever give ourselves & to the world. We spend so much time of our lives being loyal to other people & we do not realize that being loyal to ourselves & our identities is even more important.

Remaining yourself, regardless of the circumstances you face, is a miraculous talent to have. Even under the worst situations you still remain true- true to you. That is the quality to having a good life that will impact, not only yours, but the lives of others. Like I said, there is no one like you, once you are gone there will never be another you. There is no one better at being you than you — embrace you. That is the least that you can do for yourself. Be you, always, all the time, regardless– Forever.

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Be A Blessing…

Good morning Conglomerates,

We are here again, together, for another week. I can not express how much I appreciate your willingness to stay with me on our self-love pursuit. Today, I want to discuss the importance of loving & being a blessing to someone else.

Since I was young, I have always wanted to contribute to helping & making a difference in the lives of others. I thought I could save the world by helping everyone & making the people on this earth happy & healthy. As I got older & real life situations started to take place in front of me; I realized that obtaining such goals, alone, was more difficult than I ever thought it could be. Nonetheless, I did not negate that every little contribution counted significantly. That is why I started the Nickkie&CO. platform. I wanted women, as the significant figures we are, to come together, educate & speak life into one another so that we can each be empowered & inspired to inspire one another.

As time progressed, I began to see the influence the weekly memoirs have had on people, which convinced me that I could do more with this platform. Not only did I want to whisper, shout & yell empowerment for those who need it; I wanted to follow through with action. As a result, I now proudly present myself as a philanthropist who acknowledges a need & contributes to a solution. I do this because I find significant importance in being a blessing to someone else other than myself. I realize that I can not be so willing to accept favor from those around me without paying it forward in some way. I need to try to make a difference in the lives of others the way favor & blessings have made a difference in mine.

So often we leave our arms wide open to accept the blessings that rain down on us but often we forget to share those blessings with other who may need it; especially if we do not know them. In this life it is apparent that I can not be a “gimme-gimme” type of person; I am not built that way, though sadly some people are. But if we lived in a world where people gave freely, in different aspects of our being, it is my belief that it will be small strides in the right direction. In a world that constantly reminds us that it is cruel & selfish place to be, it is easy to forget that there are kind people that still grace this earth. I was reminded of this yesterday.

Up until the end of today, I am hosting a book bag collection for the children of domestic violence survivors, who are in safe haven shelters, for the upcoming school year. Personally, I made a Nickkie&CO. goal of ten book bags but in such a short notice & with the remainder of the day left, that goal has been surpassed. Together we collected twenty-seven (& counting) book bags. All, will be one less thing these parents need to worry about for their children. I am moved by the people who came together to contribute & I can not express how truly amazing it feels. What seems like a small sacrifice to us can surely be a BIG blessing to someone else. I am so happy to know that good people saw the vision & contributed to the cause.

Granted, all blessings do not require price tags because you can be a blessing to someone else without having to spend a dime. Love is a universal language & it is expressed in so many ways. Kind gestures, sweet hellos, small reminders, smiles, prayers or even an encouraging word or two all allow you to be a blessing to others. Blessings also do not have expiration dates so you can give it forward at any time. Though you may be in a place where it seems impossible – finances are tight & emotions are off- making a daily practice to add a little sunshine in someone’s life can significantly have an impact on the way you feel through out the day; in some odd way, being a blessing to someone else, will bless you, threefold. Just as our friend, Ms. Karma comes around for the negative, she is very consistent with the positive. So be someone who exemplifies what the contributors exemplified to me; that good people, in one way it another, still walk this Earth & care to make a difference.

Until next time.

**As of 8/28/2018, Conglomerates raised 42 filled bookbags for the families in DV shelters. Thank you so much to everyone who contributed.**

Nickkie&CO. Soiree’ Recap

Nickkie one cupcakeGood morning Conglomerates!! This morning, this memoir is going to be slightly different from any other memoir I have written. Last Sunday, Nickkie&CO. had its first intimate Launch Soiree. I spent months planning this event & I cannot think of a better way it could have been executed. Many successful women came together to celebrate the current successes & the future vision I have for this brand. In that, I can not express to you how beautiful it turned out to be! Approximately, 40 different women from all walks of life with different backgrounds, were able to sit in one room, enjoy each other’s company, network & have a good time without any drama. It was amazing. People contributed in many ways to ensure that the event was a success just because they believed in me. Whether they provided advice, contributed by sharing their craft, donated to the cause or showed up as a guest; the love was surely felt & encouragement was at an all time high.

When conglomerates arrived, I asked them all to sign little wooden hearts painted red, pink & white. They were to place their signed heart in a glass frame so that I can commemorate the day. After approximately an hour of mingling & eating treats fit for royalty, Conglomerates played a few icebreaker games. One, Conglomerate Bingo, was a competitive game that required women to walk around & get to know each other. The bingo squares were listed with different quality traits that in one way or another described all the women in the room. When a woman in the room qualified for one of the squares in bingo, they would sign the square & the search continued. The first two women to shout BINGO won cosmetic jewelry sponsored by Urban Kleopatra. Afterwards, the women were asked to speak amongst themselves & present the name, occupation, unique fact & the passion of the woman to the left of them to the rest of the room. Women were open & willing to share intimately & it was breath-taking. It was evident that I was surrounded by a group of god-fearing women who came together & were not ashamed to express that.

The MC that hosted the event was much like the women that gathered in the room that day. She presented myself & the brand with so much passion that it was evident that she was supportive even before Nickkie&CO. was formulated on paper. She presented me as the young lady I once was who transformed to the woman who sat before them. A woman who thankfully has found her purpose. I formally thanked everyone for coming, taking a risk on me & for believing in my dreams. It was unscripted & raw. As I write this, I pray that the women could feel how moved I was by their presence & how determined I am to make them & other women around the world feel empowered & capable. It was an unspoken agreement amongst us all; we live our lives striving to win. I recognized Guest Inspirations for their courage in using the Nickkie&CO. platform to tell their story by giving them a special Nickkie&CO. mug with logo & catch phrase along with a copy of their written memoir. Shortly after a different type of excitement filled the room, as the women waited to see if they would win the prizes prepared for them.  A door prize of positivity pens was given, raffles were presented that consisted of more Urban Kleopatra jewelry & a prize of  (3) meal preps created by Healthy Bites by Julie found their way into the hands of conglomerates. Throughout the event, women filled out little gold envelopes & placed them in a decorative bird-cage to raise money for “Women’s Aware” Domestic Violence Shelter. Together, we raised $300 for the women & families in that shelter.

In the end, it all wrapped up beautifully– A toast for the milestones that have been accomplished & for the milestones to be surpassed. The brand logo was revealed & the grand finale; a butterfly release, that was symbolic of the evolution of the women in the room, as well as the brand. All Conglomerates went home with a sheer self-love parting bag that contained my business card, Nickkie&CO. self love affirmation card, Essential Oil, Essential Oil information sheet, Lipstick & Eyeliner sponsored by Jay Manual Cosmetics & a travel size hand sanitizer. It was really a beautiful event. The pictures & the description fail to give it justice. The amount of encouraging words I have received afterwards has been uplifting. Women left the event feeling empowered, renewed & ready for another one next year; which I will surely deliver.

But in all this, the most beautiful thing about the event has nothing to do with the decorations or the celebration of Nickkie&CO. What made the event so beautiful was that despite what people say about us, women can join together in a room, get along well enough to share our stories, network & encourage one another. I always say, especially under the right circumstances, women can do amazing things. Women do not always need to be in the limelight to celebrate another woman & most importantly women can sit at a leveled table knowing that they all can contribute something for the “win”. Women are not the mischievous back-stabbers reality tv makes us out to be or the hormonal psychopaths that often comes up in jokes. Women are sensible & striving to better themselves every day. That was evident on Sunday. If there was a takeaway from this event, I want women to feel comfortable stepping out of the box. I want them to understand that everyone may not always see their dreams, but people who believe in them will surely support. Passion is the determinant to how people feel about them & what they represent. I can almost guarantee that, if someone did not see the vision, they surely saw it Sunday. It is evident in the way people have reached out to contribute to other Nickkie&CO. missions. It only takes a little effort to empower someone & it goes a long way. I truly believe god was in that room that day & I saw him in all the faces of the women who sat down before me. So, thank you to everyone that took the time out of their busy schedules to spend with me. I appreciate it. Even if you could not make it, I still appreciate any effort you made in the background. There will always be next year.

Until next time Conglomerates.

Nickkie Endo warrior

Finale: Butterfly Release

Thank you all again for a wonderful time!

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Ephesians 4:29

No EvilWelcome to another self-love Sunday, Conglomerate. I appreciate you joining me another week to kick off your week on a positive note. This week I want to address a topic I am certain has effected more than a handful of us. Most of my life, specifically during my adolescence, I had to deal with people dictating the outcome of what my life was going to be. Whether I disagreed with a directive or expressed myself in a way they did not agree with; they would often tell me I would not amount to anything. I was often reminded that instead of making a difference in the world I would be a pregnant teenager (as if that is a death sentence) or end up in jail. Granted, I was not always the most friendly but I was far from malicious. I would be the first to admit that I was DEFIANT & I gave the same respect that I felt was given to me. If I felt disrespected or threatened, I would talk back, defend myself, & seek to humiliate who I believed to be my aggressor. As adolescent teenagers, for some of us, behavior like I had is all apart of the process of growing up & falling into your role in life. The growth process takes on many facets even if it is not the most glamorous. So for the life of me, I can not figure out how my adolescent behavior warranted such definite assumptions of who I was destined to be; a girl whose life will be short-lived because she would “shamefully” end up pregnant or in jail.

Now that I am an adult who has turned out to be everything they never believed I would be; I recognize that people tag negative expectations on the lives of others based on their own standards of living. In my evolution, I have learned that people prefer to influence through negative affirmations instead of the opposite. They would rather remind you of all the things you have done wrong instead of pointing out the things you have done right. They rather point out characteristics they find less appealing instead of pointing out the beauty in them & they prefer to attack your self-esteem by pointing out your flaws instead of teaching you how to use them in your favor. So today, I want to express the importance of speaking power into people, especially our young people. Collectively, we need to help others realize their worth by speaking positive affirmations over their lives; despite what physical & mental state they are in. People are not always resilient to negativity & if exposed to it enough, they can easily believe it. I reflect often on the things that were said to me & I cringe at the possible effects people’s negative statements could have had on me. I am grateful today that I did not believe what they believed I would be.

Let us not be like those people; the same people who hate something so much in themselves that they would rather impose it on someone else instead of uplift them. As we get older, time changes & our roles in life shift, let us not forget that life is a process of growth. Though we should encourage maximizing one’s potential, we should never encourage someone to reach & settle at their highest potential as it enforces limitations on them that require them to stop evolving, learning & being. That being said, let us not dictate someone’s potential because that gives the message that someone can never be more than what we said they can be. Let us speak light where there is darkness & life where there is none. Let us not contribute to breaking down someone else’s character & forgetting to look at our own flaws. In the same way we look in the mirror & speak life changing affirmations on our lives, we must do the same for others. Never be a part of the reason that someone believed they were not good enough. Someone will always remember you for being the one person who believed in them in contrast to the many that did not. Kind gestures & words reap so many more benefits to the world than those that hurt. Make the difference. Be kind.

Kindness is free, sprinkle that sh*t everywhere.  

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Ephesians 4:29- Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (NIV).